I had to return to the midwest because one of my rental properties had burned. I would have to do some crappy rehab work but I would also get to see my brothers. “Do you realize that I haven’t seen you in over a year,” said my older brother. His oldest son now had a deeper voice and had grown about a foot since I had last seen him.
Later, I sat 20 feet across the room from my other brother wearing a cloth mask over my KN95 mask. I told him that the precautions were mainly to protect them since I had just been through an airport. Even though he totally got it, it was still not the same having to be restricted around my own family. It occurred to me that one of the hardest things about the last year had been not being able to hug those that I love. Not being able to sit next to each other and have a great conversation. Sure, we talked on the phone and were now even in the same room, but it wasn’t the same. There was a distance.
I miss being able to shake hands with those that I just meet without having to weigh whether the risk outweighs the benefit for both of us. With mouths covered up by masks, I have a greater appreciation for how much of communication is non-verbal. All of this to say that human connection is one of the greatest things in my life…and it is free.
The Best Things In Life Really Are Free
One of the lessons I re-enforced over the last year was that once your basic needs are provided for, the best things in life really are free. I have written in the past about how data indicates that relationships are the greatest determiners of happiness in life and how good close personal relationships even affect longevity. This has been demonstrated for me in a big way this year while experiencing the absence of loved ones in my life.
Similarly, practicing positivity and optimism continue to be hugely important for me over this pandemic…and working on these habits have cost me nothing. If you listen to podcasts, consider searching out “Programming Your Mind For Wealth with Life Outside The Maze” episode 138 on the Earn & Invest Podcast. It is of course free and is something that I am proud to have out there to help others. Mental health has been one of the greatest challenges of this time for everyone. Focusing on it, is free.
Lastly, I will point out that I have been focusing on physical health during this pandemic. Of course getting good sleep, eating healthy, and exercising all can strengthen my immune system and reduce risk factors of being hospitalized due to Covid. But for me, I just know that getting out and working my body just makes me feel good and costs nothing.
For me this year has been a re-affirmation that the best things in life are often free.
Yeah but Good Relationships and Health Don’t Pay the Bills!
It’s true that the best things in life are free but you still need money just to facilitate life right? The data suggests that an average household needs $75K in combined income to move beyond experiencing money as a hardship. Interestingly, anything beyond that does not seem to make life hugely better.
I am reminded of my conversation with JL Collins and the idea that money is like oxygen. When you have enough, you don’t even think about it. When you don’t have enough, you can’t think about anything else. This has only become more relevant as this pandemic has exacerbated the hardships felt by those without money.
Having already built to financial independence, I have not had to worry about money hardships over this difficult time or additional money related health risks. This is a great place to be in. Equity and inequality are big issues as are government programs and economic policy. I won’t claim to be an expert on those things and won’t expound on them here. However, what I can speak to from personal experience is that the concepts of frugality, increasing income, investing, and creative side hustling that I applied earlier in life, built a huge safety cushion for me during this challenging time. The future is bound to hold more challenging times. I offer that the financial independence section of this site has never been more timely and I hope it helps others on their path.
Focusing On What I Can Control
When I had to return to the midwest to deal with my burned rental property, I was kind of nervous to fly, even though I had more PPE on than Robert Downey Jr in the Avengers:
On my return flight, I kind of eyed up who to sit next to. Using my flawless judgement, I sat next to the one woman on the flight who refused to wear a mask. She got into arguments with the flight attendants. Then finding a loophole, the lady produced a huge ziplock bag of peanuts and ate them very slowly one at a time for 45 minutes claiming that she didn’t have to wear a mask while eating. When the attendant warned her that she could be kicked off the airline for life, she grudgingly put her mask back on.
I asked this woman if the mask was uncomfortable or it she just didn’t believe in the risks. “Look I am not worried and I’m even pregnant,” she told me. I thought about how to respond and gently offered, “No one is attacking you. You are simply not following the airline policies and you are being disrespectful and rude to everyone else’s concerns (several passengers had complained).” She was not angry with me but said, “I am not being rude, hey if you don’t feel safe right now then don’t fly.” To this I said, “I think in time you will look back and see that it was rude and disrespectful of others’ concerns.”
What I Can Control
This past year has been dominated by economic, political, social justice, and pandemic related issues. While I can do my part on these things, I can’t single handedly make the world safe, fair, and reasonable. I couldn’t control peanut lady. After a point any potential exposure was done. Moving to a new seat would just mean exposure to another whole group of passengers. While I recently wrote about how right now is a difficult time for investing, I can’t control the stock market. This last year has been a nice exercise in focusing on what I can control and trying to reduce anxiety over things that I can’t do anything about.
This year has meant more time home than I would prefer. I can’t control that. However, I can choose how to use this time. I have been working on a crazy fitness challenge, a music project, and even written a screenplay draft. These are things that are entirely in my domain of control. My effort and habits alone can make them successful. That is a good feeling.
Using Process and Habits
I don’t want to pretend that I have been some sort of Zen master over this pandemic so far. Like many, I have not been my best. I have certainly been a bit more irritable and had to focus more so than years past. However, it is exactly in these more challenging times that I always fall back on habits and rely on process to save me.
On days where I have felt crappy, I look at what happened that day. Often, I made some poor decision to waste time playing a game or I went down an internet rathole early in the day. This set into motion a pattern of small fails that came to define the day. By contrast, the next day I might decide to workout first thing in the morning and then do the thing I least want to do first. By 10am, the day has started on the path of winning and continues that way.
Recently, I read “On Writing,” by Stephen King, and listened to Tim Ferris interview Steven Pressfield (#501) and Jerry Seinfeld (#485). All three of these are awesome and hugely helpful media for anyone trying to create something that tells a story or is creative. All three of these successful creators talk about putting in the work rather than being inspired. They also all follow systems where one creates momentum with small wins. I get up and brush my teeth. That is my first small win. It only builds from there or crumbles based on your process and putting in the work. This has been huge for me over this pandemic as I look to build foundations for success and make things happen.
Lessons I Learned From The Pandemic
My parents just got the vaccine and immediately broke out of their house for a road trip to national parks around Utah and New Mexico. I can see a light at the end of this tunnel even if the impact of Covid19 stretches out longer than we hope. As I look back, I have been reminded over the past year that the best things in life are free. I have also been reminded what a powerful tool money can be in life and have felt fortunate to be in a good financial position.
I am hopeful that some of the financial independence resources that I’ve put together on this site help others as well. Focusing on things that I can control has been helpful for me. While I won’t claim to have mastered life or even my own brain yet, process and habits have proved to be really impactful through this pandemic. I hope to continue to build on these going forward.
What lessons have you learned though this? Feel free to share in the comments for all of us.
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3 comments
I’ve learned that I should always be grateful for the things I have, and to keep my situation in perspective. At my lowest point in the pandemic, my partner and I both lost our jobs, we owed the IRS (some consulting work and forgetting to make estimated taxe payments), getting groceries seemed to be a life and death situation, and I totally bombed an interview. Even then, at least we were healthy, had an emergency fund, and had the discipline to not sell any investments. Soon enough our luck turned around and we both have better jobs, and were both some of the first to be vaccinated (we are health care workers). I am so grateful to have come out of this year better for it and in good health. I know millions of others have not been so lucky and are still looking for jobs or recovering from the virus.
Thanks for sharing Dominic. I remember looking for work early in my career when I most needed it and totally blowing an interview pretty bad also. What a difference time makes because now I look back and laugh when I tell the story. It’s kind of counter intuitive because gratitude can seem to not make sense when times are hard but like you it has surprisingly helped me through some tough times in life as well. It’s inspiring to hear your happy ending and like you I am hopeful for more to come as vaccines roll out and hopefully employment picks up as the economy reopens meaning more work and opportunities for all.
Once that lady on the airplane has her child, I hope her attitude will change. I have panic attacks whenever my kid has to fly because he has a significant peanut allergy. He wipes down his seat, tray table etc. before he sits down and carries 2 epi-pens. So far, his reaction hasn’t been deadly (exposure 3 times since we discovered the issue when he was 3…he just turned 17). One time on a plane, the lady in front of us was eating peanuts and I asked her to put them away…she gave me some attitude and I told her that if she didn’t mind him vomiting down her neck, she could keep eating them. She put them away.