Life Outside The Maze Become Financially Independent and Live a Happy Life Outside The Maze 2023-11-06T05:37:59Z https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/feed/atom/ WordPress Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Lessons Learned From 5 Years Outside The Maze]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=5125 2023-11-06T05:37:59Z 2023-11-06T12:23:00Z Five years ago when I started this site, I was questioning an unhealthy view of work in the USA. I was motivated by a realization that there is a broad…

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Five years ago when I started this site, I was questioning an unhealthy view of work in the USA. I was motivated by a realization that there is a broad misunderstanding about the relationship between money and happiness. I noted that most of us live better lives today than kings and queens used to. So why don’t we feel that way? I asked how much money and how much success is enough. Rather than focusing on being rich, what if one just focused on having enough? Why do so many feel financially powerless even in the richest country in the world? I had learned myself that by spending a little less, earning a little more, and investing the difference one can create financial independence through the miracle of compound interest. This can transform one’s life. The message felt like a revelation to me at the time.

The Evolution of Life Outside the Maze

I wrote about this first for myself like a sort of manifesto to clarify my thinking. It then became the first 10 articles on this site. However, I didn’t know if anyone would read it and I didn’t know how the world would change. I never ran any ads, never did any paid marketing, and never made any income from this site over the last five years. Just a dude writing and living. Still, in the last half decade Life Outside The Maze has reached hundreds of thousands of unique readers all over the world! It has been read by people from 184 different countries. Holy crap! Also, to that one reader in Vanuatu, thanks for looking me up. I have enjoyed connecting with many of you and meeting lots of people along the way. A few have even reached out and shared that they have made substantive life changes over the last five years inspired by this little website. Some have built financial security and some are actually now financially independent. It is really cool to be even a part of that source of empowerment and independence in someone’s life.

The World Changes in Five Years

When I started this site my oldest son was a 10 year old kid in a backwards baseball hat. He would dramatically gag if you asked him to eat eggplant or squash. Now he is in high school and learning to drive! When I started this site, we were 9 years into the longest bull market in US history. The mood felt optimistic. Since then there was a recession and then a rebound to new highs. We went through a pandemic, lots of social movement, and a whole lot of political division and increased anger in the USA where I live. My point is that the world was actually different five years ago and much has changed.

I have also changed. I started this site as a guy in his 30’s on his victory lap after achieving financial independence. Back then I knew so much less but I felt so much smarter. Funny how that works. Today I am in my 40’s and have experienced more adventures than some do in a lifetime (feeling fortunate). I have seen a lot of the world and even dabbled in teaching some college courses. I am also coming on being 1.5 years cancer free. I never would have predicted that in my story (not so fortunate). So as I set the clocks back an hour and take in the last of the fall colors, let’s take a look back at lessons learned from this year and then at my progression over the last five years to explore a broader message.

Lessons From the Fifth Year Outside The Maze

Let’s start with the elephant in the room. Going through cancer and chemo changes you. I am currently 1.5 years cancer free. What of this last year was learned from this versus being 5 years post financial independence? Late last year, I had an urge to do a public speaking event. I felt like I had a message to share that would help others and also mark a milestone for myself. In early 2023 I had the opportunity to speak at a really cool event called Camp FI. Stephen who runs these awesome retreats all over the nation, was kind enough to let me share the following video of my talk. If you get nothing else from this post, I urge you to watch the following video. It is one thing to read words on a page but another to hear someone’s honest truth in their own words. Bonus you can see Mr Maze tear up a little and face some of his own challenges in front of a live audience:

I really want to thank Mindy (Bigger Pockets Money Podcast), Jordan (Earn & Invest Podcast and author of Taking Stock), and Carl (1500days.com and host of Mile High FI) for encouraging me to give this talk and Stephen for the opportunity to do so. I highly recommend Camp FI and will likely return again. Special shout out to Carl who actually flew to Florida and joined me over the weekend where we saw gators and got to tour Tom Petty’s make out hole together in Gainesville (long story). Additional shout out to those from Camp FI that came by to visit on your way through my town over the last year (hi Maggie, Sarah, and Heidi).

If you want to hear more about the cancer learnings part of this talk I was on the Earn & Invest Podcast together with my wife in 2023 talking about whether security in life is an illusion. If you want to hear more about the adventures and life part of this talk, I did a podcast in 2023 with Ordinary Sherpa about Experiencing Childhood Dreams.

What I Have Been Doing Over The Last Year

Over the past year I have continued to try to get outside as much as I can. This means lots of hiking, rafting, camping, and fishing with family and friends. I have again used my National Parks pass thoroughly. I also took up mountain biking a couple of times per week and have even done some harder 30+ mile sort of black diamond rides through the mountains. I tried ice climbing for the first time, have taken up gourmet pizza making, and started doing some weight lifting. I did some treasure diving again over the summer, back packed around Austria and Hungary with my wife and kids, attended the world premier of a play that my uncle wrote, and visited the Magic Castle in Hollywood which has been a dream of mine since I was a kid. I have been writing music and also just finished a class and workshop on screen writing where I learned about the craft and re-wrote my own screenplay. I rehabbed and sold all of my rental properties, brewed some beer, and drove my kids all over the place all of the time. I travelled to visit family many times and celebrated the life of my uncle who passed away.

I jammed all of these things into one paragraph for a reason. It is not each individual thing that matters to me in year five. It is the chance to have time and health to dip your cup into the stream of possibilities in life and drink a whole bunch. I have also hardly written about any of it on this site and hesitated to even include the photos above. Why? Because it is not about making my life look awesome. I am just a dude with shortfalls and struggles like anyone else. These never end, I am always a work in progress. However, it is about applying one’s self and staying engaged. That is my broader message here in year 5.

Thoughts on Money in My 5th Year Outside The Maze

Over the past year I have sold all my rental properties and become more interested in treasuries. I still manage my portfolio of investments but I don’t think about money all that much. In fact it seems each year I think about it less and it is less a factor in my decision making. To me this is a win. I bought a nice guitar this year after having played a cheaper one for over 20 years. I finally bought a new car after driving my manual transmission 2006 accord over more than 200K miles. This is to say that money for me remains a tool. These 2 larger purchases bring some value for me. Sometimes I splurge a bit on travel and adventures. However, I am not trying to optimize some spending equation with the idea it will bring me a more fulfilled life. I don’t believe that it will. This discussion about money in year 5 and the discussion above about what I did this year are part of a larger message I have about being 5 years into this.

The Larger Message Reflecting on 5 Years

Every October I write about my learnings over the prior year. In the first two years I focused quite a bit on the euphoria and exploration of life outside of traditional work. I also worked on personal growth and refocusing. In the third year I started to reflect on what it takes to be successful while living an alternative lifestyle. I looked back on how my view of money and finances had changed and also questioned the role of this website in my life. Then year four was dominated by cancer and I find myself here in year 5 looking to what is next.

If you look back at the number of articles I have written each year on this site the graph looks like this:

Believe it or not this is a good thing. This is part of my broader message. I did not set out to be a financial expert or happiness guru with this website. Rather I set out to chronicle what it looks like when a guy starts working for himself for happiness rather than working for others for money. I learned that so much of what I was thinking about overlaps with the broader financial independence community. I really enjoy being a part of it. However, the more I learn the less I get from each additional article or podcast. This too is a good thing. It means that I have learned quite a bit along side this community. However, exploration is growth. For someone who writes, there is the additional risk of being stuck in the identity that your audience (or perceived audience) expects or writing because you feel you should. I know other content creators out there can likely identify with this. Instead I plan to write when I feel it and also have something worthwhile to share. I hope that this broader message makes sense and helps you think about your own life and focus areas, exploration, and growth as well.

It is the last days of another beautiful fall here in Colorado. Every year for me it marks a time to think back on the year and forward to what I am minimizing, what I am maintaining, what I am exploring, and what comes next šŸ™‚ Be well,

-Mr Maze

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[I Made Six Figures Off of Boring Interest Rates]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=5110 2023-10-29T14:40:05Z 2023-10-30T11:32:00Z Interest rates are boring…until they’re not. Over the past couple of years, understanding interest rates has made a six figure difference in my net worth. I’d like to explain while…

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Interest rates are boring…until they’re not. Over the past couple of years, understanding interest rates has made a six figure difference in my net worth. I’d like to explain while sharing an evergreen bit of wisdom along the way. I believe it may change the way you think about money and investing. First a disclaimer:

I am not an investing professional or expert. Everything in this article are my opinions and experience. Understand that they may not be appropriate for you or your portfolio. Moreover, investing conditions change constantly and it is up to you to make your own decisions and seek any financial advice you deem appropriate from an expert you trust.

Can’t I Just Index and Forget It?

In the past I have discussed, Why You Wonā€™t Beat the Market But Still Can. In short, it is extraordinarily hard to try to beat the total market index through long term investment picking and market timing. Even if you could somehow outperform the market over 40 years, in the end you may not be any richer than someone who just focused on their career, maintained thrifty spending habits, and put their money in a total market fund like VTI (see Mr Pink in this article as an example). So why would it make sense to keep tabs on the markets, the economy at large, real estate, interest rates, bonds, etc? The answer to this is that if you can understand how all of these things are related, you can get a sense of risk adjusted returns across different areas of investing and business and make creative personal finance decisions.

An Evergreen Lesson For Investing and Personal Finance

The risk adjusted return is not always the same across different investment options and this creates opportunities. The investing environment today is a great example of how something boring like interest rates can become really exciting. I will use this example to show why it pays to understand risk adjusted returns and market inefficiencies to create opportunity. So let’s dive in to how something as boring as interest rates has made a six figure impact on my portfolio over the past few years and driven me to sell all of my rental properties.

When Risk Adjusted Returns Go Haywire

This chart above shows the interest rate yield of a one year treasury.

From around 2009-2016 one year treasury yields sat below 1%. This is pretty boring to me. During times like these I don’t spend much time trying to optimize where the fixed income part of my portfolio is. Why would I? My only focus is to park my cash in something with a positive return that keeps it liquid in case I want to move that cash if something happens. Rates bumped up a little and then the Covid19 pandemic happened pushing rates close to zero from late 2019 through mid 2021. During much of this time I earned more interest in high yielding bank savings accounts than I could have in CDs, treasuries, and even some corporate bonds.

Some inflation adjusted bonds actually went negative in yields during this time (see an article I wrote around this time titled “Investing In Difficult Markets Like This One“). It seems crazy but I was actually taking less risk, had more liquidity, and made a higher return by keeping the fixed income / emergency fund part of my portfolio in a high yield bank account rather than in CDs, treasuries, or bonds during times like that one of very low or even negative interest rates. I also took advantage of it in another way.

When Debt is the best thing in the World: My 1.99% Mortgage

In 2021, mortgage rates hit the lowest they had ever been in US history. In early summer of 2021, I took out a 15 yr fixed rate mortgage on my home at 1.99%.

I did this not because I needed the money but rather because mortgage rates seemed artificially repressed by monetary policy. Mind you, the inflation adjusted average annual return of the stock market over the last 90 years is around 7% and I get to borrow money at less than 2%?! WTF?! I can pay this mortgage off any time I feel like it but in the mean time I get to control all that cash for 15 years and only pay 1.99% to do so (plus mortgage interest payment tax deduction).

If the markets actually do match that 7% average annual performance I could end up with more than a 100% return on this mortgage over 15 years. Of course nothing is guaranteed but even as I write this in October 2023, a 15 year treasury yields just under 5%. Understanding that interest rates were at an all time low kind of sucked for the fixed income emergency fund part of my portfolio but it created this mortgage opportunity. Sometimes boring old interest rates become very exciting.

Interest Rates Suddenly Get Interesting

Let’s look back at that chart of one year treasury yields up above. What has happened from mid 2021 to late 2023? Interest rates have shot up to around 5.5%!! This is very interesting to me. For one, I need to pay more attention to the fixed income part of my portfolio. If your cash is sitting in a bank account yielding no interest it didn’t matter much in 2021 or 2022 when yields were less than a quarter of one percent. However, today you would be losing over 5% annual return by neglecting your cash management.

Why I Sold All of My Rental Properties

I am happy to have locked in my low mortgage rate back in 2021. However, I have also been running single family rental properties for the past many years. Nationally, home prices have more than doubled in the last 10 years. My rents have not doubled in the last 10 years. If you are a landlord I would ask in the comments if your rents have doubled in the last 10 years?

Moreover, let’s say I had sold a property to a single family getting a 30 year fixed mortgage back in 2021 and their mortgage payment was $1000 per month (2.65% mortgage rate). Today two years later that same mortgage payment would now be $1715 per month (8.56% mortgage rate). What effect does this have on potential buyers to pay over 70% more on their mortgage? In an efficient market, one would think that the price of a single family home would have to go down but it has actually gone up at some of the fastest rates in history over the past year and a half:

Over the past year and a half I have unloaded all my rental properties. Interest rates are a big reason for this. I am happy with my decision to sell and lock in some capital gains after years of active income as well (not exactly passive). I also have some local issues with my rental market and am happy to free up my time for other efforts. Housing prices may continue to go up. Rents may shoot through the roof. However, I am certain that housing does not look as strong today as it did two years ago. In fact interest rates are doing all kinds of weird things.

Yield Curve Inversions: When More Risk Gets Less Return

Today is also a great example of how risk adjusted returns sometimes get weird. Usually interest rates for borrowing or lending are higher the longer the term of the loan. This just makes intuitive sense. However, during the government stimulus response of the pandemic, interest rates were held low and stimulus handouts flowed. Now we have high inflation as a result and the federal reserve must raise interest rates to combat it.

As I write this article, the 10 year treasury rate sits at 4.83% while the 6 month treasury rate sits at 5.52%. All other fixed income rates of course follow suit. This means that I can make more money on shorter term loans than longer term ones right now and have more liquidity in my investment. It also suggests that bond traders are putting their money behind interest rates falling in the future and/or are perhaps concerned about a recession.

Investing When The Boring Becomes Exciting

Ten years ago no one talked about interest rates. Today they are the elephant in the room. Boring old interest rates made me more money with less risk when I kept my fixed income / emergency fund in a high yield bank account instead of bonds or CDs for most of 2009-2016 as well as 2020-mid 2021. When Interest rates dropped to the lowest they’ve ever been in US history, in 2021 this sucked for the emergency fund / fixed income portion of my portfolio but presented an opportunity to lock in a 1.99% mortgage. Not boring at all! Now as interest rates are spiking, I am making money in a shorter term treasury ladder with less risk and more liquidity than longer term treasuries or bonds. Lastly interest rates were a large factor in me selling off my real estate portfolio and you can all laugh at or praise me for that decision as we see what the next few years look like.

The Timeless Lesson: A Deeper Understanding Pays

While interest rates are interesting to me now, in 5 years it may be tax policy, corporate bond structures, or a transition to stock picking over indexing for example. The broader lesson that I hope this article conveys is how a deeper understanding of the markets, the economy at large, real estate, interest rates, bonds, etc, can create investing and personal finance opportunities even if you are not a market timer and a stock picker per se. The risk adjusted returns of different investment options fluctuate. A deeper understanding pays.

What do you think of me selling all of my properties and these other moves I made? Am I missing Something? Do you agree with the broader lesson about how a deeper understanding can pay even if you are not a market timer or a stock picker? Please chime in on the comments section below šŸ™‚

Iā€™m passionate about financial independencehappinesssuccess, and adventure. Consider subscribing below to get occasional emails directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles. Itā€™s totally free and totally worth it, I promise.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Toxic Frugality and Financial Independence]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=5073 2023-06-12T20:07:18Z 2023-06-12T11:57:00Z There has been an alarming focus recently in the financial independence community around toxic frugality.  It has inspired me to reluctantly pick up my virtual pen.  The argument goes something…

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There has been an alarming focus recently in the financial independence community around toxic frugality.  It has inspired me to reluctantly pick up my virtual pen.  The argument goes something like this, saving and investing to amass wealth that enables your lifestyle aspirations is not the biggest financial barrier to living a better life. That is straight forward common knowledge. Rather the biggest barrier is toxic frugality and not knowing how to spend money well. 

Is Frugality Toxic?

The straw man reads as follows, the world is good at teaching us all to save money but the real problem is that most people suck at spending it well.  Hence, they amass huge piles of cash and sit there hoarding it like a miser.  Those advocating a path toward early financial independence love the word restriction like someone who likes to pick at scabs.  They wrap themselves in spreadsheets to keep themselves warm at night.  I don’t hate them but… so goes the straw man narrative.

There are horror stories of multi-millionaires who drive all over town to save a few cents on gas and others who can’t even vacation where they want to because they must use their miles on an airline that does not fly to that destination. Moreover, these wealthy scrooges say that they want to change but they actually really don’t. 

What if we flipped the question and asked, “Why pay less money when you could pay more money?”  Also what if you 10X your spending on things that you really love?  How great could your life be? What joys are you missing out on?

Anyone who challenges this narrative is either a foolish restrictive scrooge or financially illiterate and therefore poor and hence unable to appreciate the problem of actually being in a position to spend more money better.

Frugality & The Financial Independence Community

Surprisingly, many in the financial independence and retire early communities seem to be making large purchases and embracing this narrative recently.

One podcaster that I have much respect for recently ran an episode where he talked about spending more money.  

After years of being admittedly overly frugal, he came to a realization that he was not using his money to maximize his life.  He met with a coach who urged him to spend way more. This spending thing is incredible, he claimed while describing how he bought a really nice coffee maker and was kitting his house out with stuff on Amazon.  He questioned what he had been missing out on for the last 40 years of his life and remarked that his money coach would be proud because he has doubled his spending over the last two years.  He acknowledged that he had made a lot of progress but still had a ways to go.  It would after all be a great tragedy to die with millions in the bank, he asserted.

Much of this talk seems to fly in the face of frugality as a strength, stoicism which so many once championed on the road to financial independence, fifty years of research into hedonic adaptation, as well as much research around the link between happiness and money.  So what is going on here?

Recency Bias Post Financial Independence?

I jokingly want to call this trend of rejecting frugality, “everyone in the FIRE community turned 50 at the same time,”  because this sort of toxic frugality rhetoric seems a product of recency bias among those who have not adjusted their spend into later middle age as their portfolios have swollen over a historically phenomenal stock market run. Now these folks are newly opening their wallets and experiencing so much of the convenience as well as dopamine spikes that most average consumers do on the daily.  One well known coach is seizing this moment to inherit their audience and denigrate their original message while getting thanked for it.  So let’s unpack this.

Frugality & Money Coaching

First off frugality is of course not toxic. It is simply a mindset, a practice to look at spend versus value rather than consuming as a reflex. After all, we are hardwired to consume. It is in our DNA and your drive to consume is what makes capitalism work which kinda makes the world go round today. In fact being a money coach that helps wealthy but overly frugal people spend money sounds like a great job. Convince people to do something that they are hardwired to do but have been habitually avoiding sounds a heck of a lot easier than say getting them to worry about, save, and invest money for 10 years so that they can be in a place of financial independence and then not have to worry about it at some point in the future. I am in the wrong line of work. Also as a money coach, you know that your clients can pay you well because they have boatloads of money that they need help spending. Maybe I could even accompany my clients on some spend coaching sessions where we live it up Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous style with caviar and wine that I can’t pronounce. Please sign me up for this job. Ok jokes aside, there is an opportunity for empathy and learning here.

When Frugality No Longer Serves You

Any strength over used or mis-applied can be a weakness. It is easy to fall into habits that once served you but no longer do. I certainly have my own overly frugal vestiges and need to nudge myself here and there to update my thinking. I am also a firm believer that spending habits should change based on your stage of financial independence and covered this topic in depth some months back. Certainly a 50 year old with millions in the bank should be spending differently and making different money decisions than a 20 year old who still has student loans and does not yet have compound interest working in her favor. I can see how it might feel like a revelation to someone who has been frugal for years to realize that this frugality has now put them in a position to be able to do exactly the opposite. Yes you now can buy that fancy bakery bread, that fresh $6 salsa, that chunk of fresh Alaskan halibut for dinner. Moreover, money can buy convenience and can be spent to save time in some instances (I have been working on that one in particular). If you have the finances to support it by all means go for it. That is the very reason you put in the work, so that you could live your financially independent life. However, realize that it is no more virtuous to spend than it is “toxic” to practice frugality. Spending twice as much money is not “progress,” it is just spending more. The notion that an optimized life means spending in accordance to your wealth is kind of silly.

Optimized Spending?

The straw man argument is that you are living a deprived worse life if not spending commensurate with your means.Ā  By this logic, someone like Bill Gates is living a deprived or under utilized life if he does not spend at least $12.6 million dollars a day.Ā  Clearly this seems ludicrous and it is.Ā  Research suggests that beyond a point, more spending does not mean more happiness.Ā  Moreover, hedonic adaptation research pretty consistently indicates that while someone who buys an expensive coffee maker and just loves pushing the knob and grinding the beans may have some short term euphoria around the new freedom of buying lots of stuff, this same guy will very quickly adjust to that new level of consumption and will experience it as just another cup of coffee after 6 months or so. Again this is not a problem when one has the extra cash to afford it but it is also not a virtue either.

Is It Actually a Tragedy to Die With Millions?

As someone who faced the prospect of dying with millions in the bank, I can tell you that it was not a tragedy in my mind at all.  While the money gave me security through cancer, it did not solve my problem nor did I fear the tragedy of having not spent enough.  The tragedy was the possibility of not being there for my kids and the missed experiences as opposed to whether I wore a $30 sweater or a $300 sweater.

What do people on their deathbeds actually regret? These five common regrets of the dying do not have anything in them about making sure you spend all of your money or about optimizing some money, time, consumption equation, however, they may yield insight into how one might spend money well to help meet more meaningful goals:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Is Money The Barrier to Your Rich Life?

Let me reiterate that from a pure financial planning stand point there is nothing wrong with lavish expenditures that you can afford but there is also nothing right about it.  In this past year, I have eaten at perhaps the most acclaimed restaurant in the USA (the French Laundry), rented a private villa, and dropped crazy cash on the beaches of Hawaii:

 These things cost a lot of money and were great. I have also taken my kids to a show at perhaps the most famous opera house in the world for 15ā‚¬ each, and stayed in an extraordinary palace for the price of a hotel room. One of my best days of this last year was a magical afternoon just skipping rocks and biking by a river with my family.

These things cost very little money and were also great. My point here is three fold:

  1. Spending more money does not necessarily mean a richer life.
  2. Great experiences need not cost lots of money.
  3. Living your rich life can be done with currencies other than money such as time, relationships, and timing.

I have found that time and intention have been the bigger barriers to realizing my Life Outside the Maze than money has. Sort of like where there is a will there is a way to do some version of what you desire and it is possible within your means. These are profound truths to me that I have experienced post financial independence and this is why I felt compelled to write this article.  In fact I talk about some of this at great length on episode 109 of the Ordinary Sherpa podcast if interested in hearing more.  Another problem with spending more for happiness is that it is a truly a bad message for the average American.  

What Is the Barrier To a Rich Life For the Average American?

Is the real problem For the average American that we are all taught how to save but not how to spend well?  Nope, not even remotely.  The real problem is that we suck at saving and investing.  Look at the data, household debt is high and rising, only about 1/3 of Americans own stock outside of their retirement account, and most Americans are not saving enough for retirement.  

Is it harder to teach people to spend well than it is to teach them to save and invest well?  Clearly, the data above and common sense experience indicates that it is a bigger concern to get people to financial independence than it is to get them to use their money better once there.  Moreover, with higher inflation and headlines these days of households taking on debt simply to buy groceries or even taking on debt to buy school lunches, it feels irresponsible to be putting out a message to spend more and spend better in order to be happy or have an optimized lifestyle .  

Financial Independence & A Rich Life

I love the idea of harnessing people’s emotionalĀ aspirations toward a great life to get them to take action with their finances.Ā  Perhaps this more inspiring sell has not been focused on enough in the financial independence community.Ā  However, I have been active in this space long enough to see multiple opinionated gurus take shots at it for the sake of growing their own platforms and differentiating their message.Ā  I hate it, hate it, hate it.Ā  It plays well to be provocative and when everyone else is an idiot you set yourself up as the one true voice.Ā  This concerns me.Ā  Let’s stop furthering the myth that more spending will make you more happy ad infinitum.Ā  This is simply not true.Ā  While the idea of spending 10X on something you love is exciting, it is not a solution to the things that actually create a good life any more than wrapping oneself in the warmth of a giant bank account balance is. The truth is that careful application of money, time, and intention to doing something meaningful to you in the company of people you care about along the way is a better way to think about things. Having financial independence gives you freedom to focus on that. Spending 10X may sound alluring but research suggests that it does not create sustained greater contentment or wellbeing in one’s life. Increasing spend may be marginally easier, more convenient, and/or save some time, however it is not necessary to live a rich life.

What do you think? Feel free to chime in below in the comments.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Financial Independence: The Stage You Are At Makes All The Difference]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4939 2022-11-17T15:05:18Z 2022-11-21T12:00:00Z Have you ever heard financial independence advice that just seems 100% wrong for you?Ā  It could be that the advice is intended for someone at a different financial stage in…

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Have you ever heard financial independence advice that just seems 100% wrong for you?Ā  It could be that the advice is intended for someone at a different financial stage in life.Ā  I claimed my financial independence around 4 years ago but it is only now in retrospect that I think back on different stages of financial independence that I have gone through.Ā 

I now understand that I would give different and sometimes even totally opposite advice to others depending on which stage of financial independence they are at.Ā  For example I might push you to spend less if you are in debt and/or saving to get your financial freedom.Ā  However, I might actually push you to spend more if you are comfortably beyond financially independence (FI) but still practicing frugal habits that limit and no longer serve you.Ā  I might tell you to forgo happiness in the short term in the beginning but tell someone who has reached FI to make it your primary focus.Ā  I might tell someone who has just reached FI to enjoy not working but tell someone who has been FI for years to get back to work.Ā  Let me explain…

But first a disclosure. This article and everything on this site represents my opinions and experiences alone. It is for informational purposes only. While I strive to offer good information, I make no guarantees of any kind and am not a financial professional. Moreover we all only get to live one life which biases us to that experience. It is up to you to make your own personal financial decisions based on your personal situation.

Three Stages Of Financial Independence

Getting to financial independence (early stage) may be the biggest endeavor that many take on and is the most written about stage. This is for good reason. Getting to financial independence can be transformational in providing options, security, and empowerment. However, for me things changed quite a bit once I got there and went through actually claiming my independence and enjoying some victory laps for the accomplishment (middle stage). How I looked at earning, budgeting, spending, investing, working, happiness, and adventure had to change substantially as I entered this middle stage of really claiming my FI, celebrating it, and understanding what to focus on now that I had an entire workweek open to allocate how I saw fit.

Now after 4 years of this experiment living outside the maze, I find myself in what feels like a later stage that I’ll call post FI fulfillment. My finances have improved substantially. I am taking what I learned from that middle victory lap stage and building something with priorities that again look very different from what I would suggest to someone in that middle stage. This realization motivated me to share the following table. If you have been FI for awhile, I would really love to hear from you in the comments to understand how this compares to your experience or even get a glimpse of what to expect going forward from here if you are an OG in the FI community:

How Everything Changed

Through Stages Of Financial Independence


Building To FI
(Early Stage)
Achieving FI Victory Lap
(Mid Stage)
Post FI Fulfillment
(Later Stage)
Change Over The Stages
SpendingMinimize spend. You can cut more than you think.  Frugality is a virtue and a teacher to what you actually need versus what you think you need.Follow your 4% rule.  Avoid poor return on spend through lifestyle creep.  Experiences offer a better happiness return on investment than things.Are you at a 1-3% rule or even less? Donā€™t hoard out of fear or greed.  Some frugality vestiges are likely holding you back.  Spend more but do it out of knowledge and compassion.  Money enables and fuels intention. A drastic change over the stages from focusing on spending less to focusing on spending more.
EarningMaximize salary / side hustles.  Front load earning to maximize compounding = more power and a safety net earlier in life.Your earning spigot doesnā€™t shut off at an arbitrary number.  Consider keeping going the pieces with outsized return vs. effort and/or the parts you enjoy.Time is the other currency that only flows away.  Additional earning should be a side effect to efforts and decisions made entirely for other factors.The focus on earning diminishes over the stages.
InvestingGet as much money into investments as possible but keep your investing strategy simple focusing your energies instead on earning more and spending less.  The early days of compounding do not look impressive but are the most important.Keep compounding.  Remember that the most likely case of 4% rule guideline leads to 2-3 times more wealth over time.  Optimizing your portfolio can be really worth it at this stage.  Monitor your investments for sequence of returns risk because the first 10 years are important for long term success.Most of us wanted wealth so we donā€™t have to worry about money, so donā€™t.  It is hard to change habits that served us so well earlier but now no longer do.  If you are watching stocks all of the time and trying to tweak your returns you risk becoming a tool of your tool.   Paradoxically, most people actually continue to build finances post financial independence when they are no longer ā€œworkingā€ in the traditional sense. Knowledge, money, relationships, skills.  All of these things compound. 
BudgetingKnow what you spend and where.  Analyze your annual spend and develop a budget focusing on opportunity areas to reduce spend.  Track it and audit it at least monthly early on to change habits.Over time you relied on your budget less and less.  Your habits have likely replaced your process and you donā€™t need a budget.  Do periodic spending reviews as needed.  Make sure additional spend while taking your victory lap is planned for.You donā€™t need a budget.  You have awareness of when spending changes and when reviewing finances is necessary.  Annual reviews are less about money and more about helping you to be intentional.A drastic change where early on budgeting is important but later it is replaced by habits.
Workingā€œWork Bitch!ā€ (Probably the only time Iā€™ve ever quoted Britney Spears.)Stop working.  Only keep doing the work of high value that you love.  During your victory lap, you step away from work to get perspective on what you want.What will fulfill you as you age?  Get back to work but not for money, rather to build your purpose, identity, and connection incrementally while minimizing the noise and the crap that drains you.  This is hard!ā€¦ and so worth it.Work for money yields to stopping working all together.  Which is then replaced by work for reasons beyond money.
HappinessIf you are like I was, you are likely happy working hard on your way to FI because it feels like you are getting ahead.  I wanted the the flexibility and power of F.U. money more than I wanted to spend that other half of my paycheck. I wouldnā€™t say that I was unhappy at this stage but I didnā€™t make happiness a priority.  Instead, I prioritized the safety net of a financial cushion. Once I reached financial independence, I stopped working for others for money and started working for myself for happiness.  However, getting to FI doesnā€™t mean a switch just flips and happiness comes.  What has been neglected?  What are the stories you told yourself about money and happiness? What lifestyle experiments can you try?  What habits work for you and which make you unhappy?What have you learned about yourself?  Happiness is not a trophy but a garden to be constantly maintained.  How can you foster it as you age and build the personalized lifestyle that you want now that you are beyond chasing ideals?In the beginning some happiness is deferred.  In the middle you get what you thought you wanted only to learn what is real and what was BS. Then you take what you know about yourself to consciously tend to and foster your happiness in the post FI fulfillment stage.
AdventureThere are stages to life.  You will not backpack around the world the same way later with kids in tow as you would in college.  Donā€™t put off these things that best fit this stage but do them creatively and affordably.  Put off luxury.  It is not worth it for you at this stage.You planned for this in your FI numbers.  Do all of the things.  It often costs less than you think.  Dabble with luxury if you would like so that you can get over it.  Keep in mind the hedonic adaptation treadmill.   As most age, the desire for wacky adventures yields to other concerns.  Use your means, donā€™t hoard.  Time is likely your more precious currency.  Money is likely not your limiting factor.  Come to grips with what is your limiting factor and why.   This may be controversial but I think for many, adventure should peak in the middle stage with tails on both sides.  You are old enough to have cash but young enough to still have drive to make them happen.
why is the chart purple? Because purple is the best color!!!

Financial Independence In The Beginning

For my entire life, I had been trying to get ahead.  When I started my career in my 20’s during a recession, my partner and I saved over 50% of our pay because we wanted to get ahead financially.  We didnā€™t exactly know why but we had a vague sense that more money would mean more freedom, more flexibility, and more security.  I took on as much responsibility as I could at work and I pushed for greater roles and more direct reports regardless of the money.  This meant more stress and hardship for me.  However, I was building!  I had a correct assumption that compounding my skills early was even more important than money and that by doing the job and getting the results, the money would follow.  I was in the early stage of getting to financial independence.

Financial Independence Early Stage: Getting To Financial Independence

If you are into financial independence blogs and podcasts but always skip the lifestyle stuff and focus only on the investment and money making strategies, hacks, and stories, you are probably in this early stage.Ā  In the early stage you are building your financial freedom.Ā  When you first start to take control of your finances there may be a rush of excitement.Ā  I would urge you to make progress and at the same time not burn so hot that you burn out.Ā  In time your excitement will give way to the tempered reality and disciplined journey of working to accumulate wealth.Ā 

In the beginning, it is hard to focus on happiness or living your best life when you worry about getting fired or paying the bills.Ā  You may feel like others have the power and you do not.Ā  Early in this stage, money is like oxygen.Ā  When you donā€™t have enough it is all that you can think about.Ā  Getting out of debt is an emergency at this stage.Ā  That debt is the miracle of compound interest working against you and you need to flip it to working for you by saving and investing.Ā  Saving enough to cover an unexpected car repair or having a safety net for next months rent starts to get you some of that power.Ā  It builds incrementally with finances. Ā  Ā 

Advice For Getting To Financial Independence

Stage one of the financial independence journey is unfortunately where most people stay for most of their lives.  Hustling is hard, investing feels complicated, and spending less is really hard in a consumerist capitalist machine that is doing everything it can to push you to spend and make you feel like ludicrous consumption is normal.  However, the way compounding works makes it super important to make earning more, spending less, and investing the difference a top priority as early as possible in your life.  

Financial Independence Early Stage Spending: 

You can cut more than you think without it impacting happiness.  In fact frugality can be fun and should be your virtue in this early stage.  Frugality can teach you what you actually need versus what you think you need:

Financial Independence Early Stage Earning: 

Now is the time to maximize your salary and maybe even do some rental properties or other side hustles.  Every dollar you make today can mean 2 dollars less that you have to make in ten years due to the magic of compounding. Hence I am a big advocate of front loading your financial independence stash.  

Financial Independence Early Stage Investing:

Investing may be even more important for building wealth than earning more or spending less for the average household.  At this early stage, I would offer that the first few years do not look that impressive until the compounding really takes off.  Early on, you have plenty on your mind so maybe consider keeping your investing simple with something like total market etfs and an emergency fund in an interest yielding bank account or other liquid fixed income instrument such as a bond or t-bill ladder.    

Financial Independence Early Stage Budgeting:  

Early on, a budget is critical. It is the tool that will allow you to build the habits and awareness so that you do not need a budget in the future.

  1. Understand what you spend in a year and where you spend it.
  2. Identify opportunities to spend less and set goals.
  3. Periodically review how well you are sticking to your budget and iterate back to #1.

The better you get at this, the less you will need this process in the future. It will become habit in time.

Financial Independence Early Stage Working:

There is a cold hard truth to numbers when it comes to building financial independence. If you do not have a sufficient surplus between income and spend to invest, you simply will never get to FI. I made my FI from the surplus on a high paying career together with side hustling and investing. I know too many friends that lament how little they get paid or how little society values some professions versus others.

We don’t get to live in the world that we would like. We get to live in the world that is. I would offer that it is worth taking an early look, a long one, and a hard numbers analysis at what your life and finances will look like versus other life goals and passions around working. Be careful of the sunk cost fallacy if you find yourself in a low paying job. Actually run your numbers and look ruthlessly at your alternatives. You get what you work toward be it money or other factors. At the same time, if FI is one’s goal, it is possible to get to FI in a decade or so if sufficiently motivated. It can be done even if maintaining a lower paying career or starting from a less than perfect place. For most, this involves maximizing pay and side hustling.

Financial Independence Early Stage Happiness:

Generally, I believe that money should not be used to try to buy happiness but rather that money can prevent some unhappiness. It turns out that while expensive experiences can be fun, we acclimate quickly and living upper class doesn’t actually change your overall contentment or feelings of well being. My take away from this research is that rather than splurging on $15 drinks or fancy vacations in your 20’s, you are generally better off living modestly and saving money into investment accounts so that you can compound and live financially independent at a middle class level later in life.

On one hand I recall being very happy in my early stages building toward FI as life possibilities were opening up, I was building my career, my family etc. On the other hand, in retrospect I see that having the freedom and power to make work optional brings more net happiness long term than yolo-ing in my 20’s or early 30’s may have provided.

Financial Independence Early Stage Adventure:

We all change over a lifetime. For example, most elderly folks are less excited to backpack around the world in their 70’s than someone in their 20’s would be. If you wait until you are 35 with 2 young kids, that time to sleep in hostels around Europe has passed. Hence there are some things that simply need to be done at the right time in life if you are going to do them at all. Does this conflict with building FI? I don’t believe so. It is important to remember that money is a tool but life is the goal.

When I was 27, I left my job and backpacked around the world for about about 7 months. Is this at odds with what I said in the happiness section directly above? I don’t believe so. In the early stages, I did lots of adventures in life. However, I did them creatively and frugally. This trip around the world cost my lady and I less than $30K total (or $15K each back circa 2007). We also had informal discussions with bosses about returning to jobs upon our return and we had already jump started our savings within our first 5 years of working saving over half of what we had earned each year. That savings is and was power. While many adventures can be deferred in the early stages of FI, some simply can’t and shouldn’t be. Do them responsibly and get compounding!

Financial Independence Middle Stage: Financial Independence Victory Lap

What happens when you have enough to make work optional under the 4% rule or similar guidance? Congratulations, you are financially independent! For many, the claiming of financial independence can be transformational. I started this site as I began this victory lap stage.  My mission was to no longer work for others for money but instead work for myself for happiness.  The first few months were recovery and discovery.  It felt like a weight had been lifted.  I did all of my to do lists that had been piling up.  I had time for more hobbies, time to spend with family and friends, and even time to do some straight up adventures from my “don’t call it a bucket list.” 

In direct contrast to someone in the early stage working toward FI, I would recommend shifting your primary focus away from money and making happiness and self improvement a more primary focus in this middle stage now that money is working for you. Why? Because common sense and much research indicates that an endless desire for more cash means you will never have enough. Ā 

For me, I looked closer at the link between money and happiness to try to understand the stories that I told myself about money. I also looked at habits, tried life experiments, started meditating more, and got to know myself better.Ā  I believe that getting financially independent in that early stage or at least getting a nice FU money cushion (if taking a coast FI sort of slower path), is really important for creating a safe space to do these things in this middle stage.Ā  Stage one was hard and I built lots of habits.Ā  These habits carry into stage 2. Some habits need to be updated. Ā  Ā 

Financial Independence Middle Stage Spending:

You worked hard to understand your post FI money needs and amass wealth in that early stage to get to FI. Stick to this plan in this middle stage. One of the biggest threats to FI in this stage may be lifestyle creep from trying to keep up with the new Joneses that you compare yourself to now. Avoid this habit because it just creates an endless cycle of hedonic adaptation, more consumption, and more adaptation. Be diligent about living with your own scorecard and within your means.

At the same time, the middle stage is your victory lap. Experiences offer a better happiness return on investment than things. You have saved for some adventures and things you have always wanted to do. Do them and do them within budget.

Financial Independence Middle Stage Earning:

Your earning spigot doesnā€™t shut off at an arbitrary number.  Consider keeping going the areas of your income with outsized return vs. effort and/or the parts you enjoy. Just because you are financially independent does not mean that you stop applying yourself. Since we live in a capitalist society (in the USA), applying yourself sometimes yields income even if it is not your primary goal.

Financial Independence Middle Stage Investing:

Keep compounding.  Remember that the most likely case of the 4% rule guideline leads to 2-3 times more wealth over time.  Optimizing your portfolio can be really worth it at this stage.  For example 1 hour of moving your $200K emergency fund from a checking account into high yielding savings account can mean $1,000s more per year. Small tweaks can be worth it at this stage.  Monitor your investments for sequence of returns risk because the first 10 years are important for long term success.

If you have taken the time to become an educated investor on your way to financial independence, this will pay off with occasional investing opportunities when the market is behaving irrationally over the remainder of your life. You can sit there compounding in simple index funds for years. However, over the decades there will be opportunities Warren buffet has a great quote about how investing is like being up to bat in baseball but you can take infinite pitches without striking out.

If hall of famer Ted Williams “waited for the pitch that was really in his sweet spot, he would bat .400,ā€ Buffett explains. ā€œIf he had to swing at something on the lower corner, he would probably bat .235.ā€

ā€œThe trick in investing is just to sit there and watch pitch after pitch go by and wait for the one right in your sweet spot. And if people are yelling, ā€˜Swing, you bum!,ā€™ ignore them.ā€

The point here is that there will be times where markets are irrational. There will be times where you can get a sub 2% mortgage rate such as mid 2021. There will be times where you can buy a rental property for far less than it would cost to build such as in St Petersburg Florida after the 2008 housing collapse. Being in the powerful position of financial independence empowers you to do nothing watching pitches for years with your money in broad market ETFs such as VTI. It also allows you to take a swing every once in awhile without risking your FI.

Financial Independence Middle Stage Budgeting:

Over time you rely on your budget less and less.  Your habits have likely replaced your process and you donā€™t need a budget.  Do periodic spending reviews as needed.  Make sure additional spend while taking your victory lap is planned for.

Financial Independence Middle Stage Working: 

If you love your job or trade then by all means keep doing it. However, understand that American culture has a deep puritanical root in the idea that work is inherently valuable and is itself moral. Largely this is BS. It is the product of the work and the purpose of work that matter. Since financial independence makes career type work optional, you may want to step away from a job for awhile to get perspective as to what you actually want now that the biggest incentive for most to work their jobs has been taken care of. For me, this was my “victory lap.” It has also been my last 4 years as chronicled on this website to date. To see what I worked on, just read all the posts in order up until this one šŸ™‚

I should also mention that in this middle stage, I kept doing work of high value that I love. For example, I put my rental properties under management but would still do some hands on repairs from time to time when it would save me thousands of dollars to do so. I like fixing things and am good at it. I also largely managed our investment portfolio for similar reasons. Lastly, I taught some college courses as a sort of lifestyle design experiment which yielded a small pension and paycheck that I considered a bonus for what I wanted to do anyway.

Financial Independence Middle Stage Happiness: 

When I had no money, I assumed that being rich makes people happy. It wasn’t a hard and fast belief but more of an assumption based on a lifetime of what my culture had sold to me and a general understanding that having money means being able to do what you want. Once I reached financial independence, I stopped working for others for money and started working for myself for happiness. In ways this is a complete 180 re-prioritization to what I did in the early stage.

I will offer that this commitment to make it the main priority yielded huge growth for me in this middle stage.Ā  Getting to FI doesnā€™t mean a switch just flips and happiness comes. The brain doesn’t rewire on its own, it takes commitment, practice and cultivation.Ā  What has been neglected?Ā  Are there stories you told yourself about money and happiness? What was true and what is false? Are there lifestyle experiments can you do to find out what works for you versus what you thought you wanted?Ā  What habits work for you and which make you unhappy or no longer serve you? My first couple years of FI were some of the happiest of my life. I researched happiness and chronicled much of that on this site. I committed to positivity and optimism. While I remain a work in progress, I know myself so much better.

Financial Independence Middle Stage Adventure: 

You made it to FI!! This is your victory lap. It is time to do all the things!! You planned for this in your FI numbers. At the same time it often costs less than many think to do all of those things on your list. While I put some adventures on hold in the early stage, I certainly did many in this middle stage. There is an old adage that if you never leave the town you grew up in, you will always secretly feel like you never got out. However, if you leave and then return you do so contented. Often you need to do things just to move beyond them. It’s lots of fun and is better than waiting until you are old to try to complete some kind of bucket list.

In this middle stage I even dabbled with some luxury which is something I would highly advise against for someone in the early stage trying to get to FI. However, eating some crazy meals and staying in some fancy villas helped break the mystique of luxury for me and helped me to look at experiences and things in terms of value rather than exclusivity. In this endeavor it is important to keep the hedonic adaptation treadmill in mind. No adventure or luxury item has provided me near as much security, freedom, and sense of possibility as my FI itself. Hence, its maintenance supersedes adventure.

Financial Independence Later Stage: Fulfillment

You built your financial independence in the early stage. Then you realized FI and did some victory laps in the middle stage. Your finances strengthened over time with momentum and compounding of your habits, skills, and relationships. However, what have you learned about yourself while you spent time working for happiness as opposed to money? What worked and what did not? This should inform what your late stage life will look like. In this stage, you take those learnings from the middle stage and you get the gift of getting to work on building fulfillment.

Most of us don’t think about what our golden years will look like until they arrive. However, by that time will you actually have the drive and ability to set these things up or will you just take the path of least resistance? Moreover, these things take time. It may take 15 years to set up your social circle and a meaningful role in something that can continue into old age. Both of these things are examples of what might help you thrive in your later years.

A year and a half ago while on a beach in Costa Rica I found myself in a “blue zone,” an area with an above average rate of people living to age 100 or more. It caused me to ask how I might build my own mini personal blue zone? This last year I went through cancer at age 43. This gave me an acute appreciation for life and what I may be confronted with as I face end of life whenever that comes…(hopefully when I am 100 or so šŸ™‚ )

I feel like I am entering this third stage on my FI journey. I am grateful to get to think about living a regret free life, building fulfillment, seeking balance, and being present with family and friends.

Financial Independence Later Stage Spending: 

Everyone likes to make fun of the billionaire who eats cold oatmeal for breakfast or drives across town to save 3 cents a gallon on gas. However, if being rich is what we all supposedly aspire to, isn’t there something genuinely sad about this?

Are you at a 1-3% rule or even less? Donā€™t hoard out of fear or greed.  Paradoxically, some frugality vestiges that served you so well earlier are likely now holding you back.  Perhaps spend more but do it to trade money for time or to remove barriers. Do it out of knowledge and compassion for yourself and others.  Money enables and fuels intention and contribution.

Financial Independence Later Stage Earning: 

Additional earning should only be a side effect to efforts and decisions made entirely for other factors. Be concious of the intention behind what you give yourself to. Time is the other currency that only flows away. 

Financial Independence Later Stage Investing: 

There is someone that I greatly respect as an investor who is financially set for life. However, he spends hours a day stressing over the markets, a possible recession, the possible collapse of the dollar as a reserve currency, etc. Heck, I monitor myself for similar traps.

Most of us wanted wealth so that we donā€™t have to worry about money, so donā€™t.Ā  It is hard to change habits that served us so well earlier but now no longer do.Ā  If you are watching stocks all of the time and trying to tweak your returns you risk becoming a tool of your tool. Be intentional and clear about how your focus is serving you…or not. In the middle stage, you already padded your finances. So what is the goal behind excessive focus around more in this later stage? Why not relax and let long term holdings of broad based etfs and other assets that you have accumulated sit and compound? Remember that as you age your faculties diminish and the average active manager underperforms the index! Ā 

Financial Independence Later Stage Budgeting: 

Your work in the early and mid stages has paid off. You donā€™t need a budget.Ā  You have awareness of when spending changes and when reviewing finances is necessary.Ā  Annual reviews are less about money and more about helping you to be intentional.

Financial Independence Later Stage Working: 

When I was a kid, my grandfather owned a small business. He built a modest house at age 77 but he put an elevator and an indoor pool in it (even today the house is worth less than $400K). He also made the basement into a mother in law apartment. Instead of selling his business as he aged, my grandfather kept it. I didn’t really understand why he did all of this when he could have sold his business and done whatever he wanted. He could have built a much fancier house if he could afford to have an indoor pool.

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that he was doing exactly what he wanted. He was working for himself for reasons beyond money to set up his golden years. He knew that taking a step back into an emeritus role would give him purpose and connection at his business while others actively ran the day to day operations. I remember walking with him through the warehouse where he would spend hours talking to everyone 15 minutes each. He knew that what he wanted was not a fancy house but rather a simple one where he could get up and down stairs even if he couldn’t walk and my grandma and he could swim every evening.

A caretaker ended up living in that mother in law apartment and my grandparents both lived into their 90’s. When my grandma passed, my grandpa continued to go into “work” and had connection in his life. When he passed as well, a team of caretakers who had each looked after him at home over the years all attended the funeral.

What will fulfill you as you age?Ā  Get back to work but not for money, rather to build your purpose, identity, and connection incrementally while minimizing the noise and the crap that drains you.Ā  This is hard!ā€¦ and so worth it. It is something that is front and center for me in my life as I write this article.

Financial Independence Later Stage Happiness: 

What have you learned about yourself in the middle stage of exploration?  Happiness is not a trophy that is secured but a garden to be constantly maintained.  How can you foster it as you age and build the personalized lifestyle that you want now that you are beyond chasing ideals and know yourself better? This is what is on my mind as I enter this later stage.

Financial Independence Later Stage Adventure:

In the middle stage you did all of the things. Hopefully it was just straight up joyous fun. You also learned that they donā€™t sustain you.Ā  You knew that they wouldnā€™t and that is ok.Ā  However, as most age, the desire for wacky adventures often yields to other concerns.

In this later stage, money is likely not your limiting factor.Ā  Come to grips with what is your limiting factor and why. Is it motivation, inspiration, or something else? Use your means, donā€™t hoard.Ā  Time is likely your more precious currency and few regret spending money or failing. More regret never having attempted.

Financial Independence Over All Of The Stages

Spend less then spend more. Forgo some happiness in the short term but then make it a primary focus. Work then enjoy not working and then work for something else entirely. After several years of financial independence, I now understand that I would give different and sometimes even totally opposite advice to others depending on which stage of financial independence they are at. Next time you read something that seems to make no sense, ask yourself what stage of FI the writer is writing about, and how it applies to you.

I have learned so much over this financial independence journey so far. However, one of life’s great challenges is that you only get to live one life. You can’t A/B test it or preview both ways like Marty McFly or Ebenezer Scrooge. I’ve tried to do a lot of living and a lot of learning. I’ve been through more than many and less than many others. If you have been through some of these stages I’d really love to hear your perspective on these stages and the changes over time in the comments. How has it been similar for you and more importantly, where am I wrong? šŸ™‚

If youā€™re interested in financial independencehappinesssuccessful habits, and adventure, consider subscribing below to get an occasional email directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[  Lessons Learned From 4 Years Outside The Maze]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4847 2023-10-15T18:08:18Z 2022-10-24T12:00:00Z Ducks take off along the surface and a couple of does walk lazily down the South Platte river.  The morning sun is shining and I am a little light headed…

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Ducks take off along the surface and a couple of does walk lazily down the South Platte river.  The morning sun is shining and I am a little light headed after just pulling 5 vials of blood.  However, I leave the hospital excited for a long run.  Looking at the day glow yellow trees reminds me that it has been 4 years this month since I extracted myself from the startup that I was at and left traditional work

Oh man this couldnā€™t be more fitting.  I just left my 6 month post treatment follow up blood draw.  As I run these trails around ponds and past the Breckenridge Brewery, Machines in a lab will whir and eventually the blood markers will confirm that I remain cancer free six months after chemo.  It has been a hell of a year!  I am truly truly elated to be here.  I spontaneously decide to write this post in my head as I jog along.  Today couldnā€™t be a more perfect fit.  

The Worst Yearā€¦

I started off year 4 last October thinking about relationships and mission quite a bit.  How can I make both a bigger priority in my life?  As I carefully stacked these dominoes and considered the pretty design that I could build, suddenly a big snarling dog busted in and tore up the room slobbering all over everything.  Oh well all you can do is laughā€¦but not really.  I found out in early December 2021 that I had testicular cancer.  By mid December, I had been through surgery and found out that it had metastasized into my abdomen as well. 

Rather than focusing on optimizing my relationships and considering lofty coffee sipping ideas like ā€œmission,ā€ I had to quickly become a cancer expert and navigate the perverse payer and provider carny shell game that we call the US healthcare system like my life depended on it… it may have.Ā  Soon I would become something of a zombie for a couple of months. Later I would come out of the other end of chemotherapy as a ā€œcancer survivor.ā€Ā  It still overwhelms me to use that phrase out loud.Ā  Maybe it is a mixture of emotion and some fear at tempting the fates by claiming victory. Ā  Ā 

ā€¦Turns Into The Most Manic Year

When I finished chemo, I couldnā€™t walk a city block without wheezing from exhaustion.  I also found out that I had gained weight while eating to stave off nausea and my liver enzyme levels had spiked to levels that indicated early stage liver failure right after treatment.  I was told that I either have chemo induced hepatotoxicity or else early stage fatty liver disease.  A funny thing happens when you just went through the possibility of losing all of your health. You start to care about it immensely. So I stepped away from drinking any alcohol and I decided to be like Forest Gump:

ā€œI just felt like runningā€

Forest Gump

At first after treatment I could hardly walk around the block let alone run:

I ate as healthy as I could. I gave up herbal teas and started drinking coffee. I tried to trim out fat and sugar. I ran along the Kona coast and down beaches on Kauai.

running along Hanalei Bay beach

I ran right through a march to end gun violence and also along the pride parade route while in Washington DC trying to show my kids something about freedom and the American ideal.

After losing about 20 pounds post chemo my enzyme levels fell more than the 2022 stock market. Within 3 months, I was back to normal ranges on everything! Looks like it was the chemo after all. My liver started to work again and I even got the green light from my Hepatologist to celebrate with a drink or two. So I ran through the hills of Napa and Sonoma:

I even jogged along the Bridger range in Montana (bear spray in hand):

All the way back to the Red Rocks of Colorado

Which brings me to this morning as I run about 6 miles down the South Platte trail. Everyone smiles at me as I pass and I wonder why until I realize that I am grinning like a fool most of the way. Look at that I even have hair again:

Today

Reasons To Celebrate

Just as I wound down treatment and my boys wound down school, my lady left her job and shifted into an advisory role. She had been working post financial independence for reasons beyond money. However, after 6 years of hard work toward a mission she believes in, the startup has really grown. In fact if it exits some day, our finances could dramatically change. She worked hard to set up her organization for continued success prior to this transition while also stepping up during my treatments. She went through the cancer as well while basically holding the family together and being the only functioning parent. She was ready for a much deserved break. So there we were both not working, realizing a moment of her leaving her job and I am also cancer free (knock on wood). Let’s celebrate! We did in the most ludicrous over the top fashion that I could imagine.

We went to Hawaii and saw lava erupt from Kilauea:

I dove with giant manta rays. We jumped off of waterfalls, explored little known lava tubes, kayaked, and floated along perhaps the most beautiful coastline in the world (the Napoli coast):

We went to the Whitehouse and stared at the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution from just inches away. I read MLK’s type written “I have a dream” speech and toured the monuments.


I caught fish with good friends and family and I got off the grid

ā€œLive in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild airā€¦ It is not the length of life, but the depth.ā€

-Ralph Waldo Emerson…via TM shirt šŸ˜‰

We went to wine country and did it up huge. We even hit up what may be the best restaurant in the world which I will write about soon. I wore ridiculous clothes, learned about wine even though I am more into beer, and stayed in a chateau complete with a private pool:

I thought the wine trip would be more for my lady, a celebration of all of her hard work and a few days to declare a mini victory of sorts. However, I may have had just as much fun as her or even more. I also may have snuck away from vineyards to hit up Russian River Brewery as long as I was in the neighborhood:

This was all straight up joyful and fun. A weird and manic year where the worst winter and spring was followed by maybe the best summer. While the summer was a great celebration, it wasn’t jam packed with growth or learnings. So what did I actually learn from the year?

All and Nothing

You can have it all and have nothing. After 3 years away from traditional work, our net worth had reached more than double what it was when I left my job and claimed financial independence! A combination of a 65% gain in the stock market over those 3 years, a huge appreciation in housing while I ran rent generating rental properties, and continued income from my lady working along with some tiny income from my funemployment as would be college professor.

Coming into last December, my lady had been talking more about perhaps leaving her job to focus on some other things for awhile. The world seemed to be our oyster. We would have some time together living parallel lifestyles instead of living different ones. All the possibilities. Then everything shifted. The early days of my diagnosis were especially hard. Everything was put into jeopardy in the early stage ambiguity of my prospects. Did my lady make a poor trade on her time if the cancer proved to be more advanced and we had little time left together? Had I been focusing on the right things?

I wrote about what a great comfort and safety blanket financial independence was for me in this time. While you just saw some glorious pics of our celebrations from the summer, they are not the most impactful. They are not what I am happiest to have back.

The Most Most Glorious Things in my 4th Year

A serious health problem is a challenge to your philosophy. I feel like mine held up. The most important things to me coming through this are time and health to spend with family and friends. What you don’t see in the pictures above is that they were with me for every one of my experiences this year. My lady, my kids, my family, and my friends. Some of my greatest times of the year have been the laid back morning discussions I have had with my lady over coffee. When I finished chemo, it was awesome and ludicrous to live it up in California wine country but what I hold more dear was being able to be there for my little brother’s 40th birthday. The look on his face when I surprised him and catching a hockey game with my siblings. And of course just health. Hearing, eating and tasting, brain working, body working. A reminder that life is a miracle truly a statistical one in the universe and a fragile one just a blink through time.

Lessons From Cancer

I am still learning and processing these lessons but I can tell you that the things that we worry about mean nothing and the things we take for granted mean everything. I have learned that PTSD is not really a D at all and it’s not just for soldiers or victims of intense violence. We are all the cumulative experience of large or small traumas that we carry whether we know it or not. I have things to process. Maybe we all do.

I have also learned that security is of course an illusion. My cancer could come back. But I could also get hit by a car or get jumped by a mountain lion on the trail. Whether it is financial fears or health fears, I must live life inside this uncertainty precisely because it is precious and uncertain.

What I Learned About Money After 4 Years Outside The Maze

I mentioned above how our financial position has strengthened over the last 4 years. While this is faster than average, it is not exceptional to have more money over time after reaching financial independence (FI). It is important to remember that while I planned conservatively using things like the 4% Rule, the median value of a 50/50 stock and bond portfolio after 30 years of living off of the 4% rule is about triple its initial value. In addition, all of the habits, skills, relationships, and systems that you have set up to get to financial independence do not just stop once you hit a number. They keep yielding value and keep compounding. This is not a plea to just recklessly claim FI before you have hit your number, especially in this volatile stock market time with a historically high CAPE ratio and inflation challenges (as I write this in October 2022). However, my learning is that wealth is easier to accumulate as the returns on your existing wealth, knowledge, relationships, and habits continue to compound. My message is to get compounding now! Small gains become huge over time.

Changing My Money Mindsets

To some degree, money is of course a tool and a requirement of modern life. I think that many also believe that money is the barrier to so many aspects of their “better life.” As I look back over the last 4 years away from traditional work, it is not spending big dollars, but rather the reduction of noise in my life, more time availability, and more commitment to other things that have allowed me to do most of the things, pursue most of the personal growth, and pursue most of the adventures that I have. While this has certainly been empowered by money indirectly through reducing my financial worry and freeing up my eight to five, it usually has not required a great deal of spending. This summer was a bit different.

I recognize that this summer was one of some particularly extravagant adventures. Perhaps the very kind of things that motivated me early on the road to building my financial independence. I likely would not have done these things the same way 10 years ago while saving toward FI. Maybe they were appropriate for us this year? They were certainly within our means. Paradoxically, the habits that got us to FI may be different than what serves us going forward. The focus areas for claiming FI and recognizing that new found position may be different than those post FI when preparing for a later stage life of purpose, identity, or connection. Hopefully one that lasts ’til I am 100 šŸ˜‰

It is fascinating how my money mindset has changed over the different stages of FI (saving to get there, realizing my financial independence, and post financial independence) and I plan to write more on this topic soon.

We Are The Story We Tell Ourselves

Earlier this year, I got some advice from a friend, Carl Fismer, who I dove for treasure with awhile back. He told me to make sure that all of my doctors know that I am going to beat this cancer. The stories we tell ourselves matter. Carl, now in his 80’s has beaten multiple primary cancers in his life.

I could tell myself that I am extremely unlucky to have gotten this cancer (about 1/15,000 per year in the USA), or I could tell myself that I am extremely lucky to be a cancer survivor. I could tell myself that I am healthy now, or I could tell myself that I am unhealthy and the cancer could return at any moment. I could tell myself that bad things are temporary but generally I make good things happen. I make good decisions. I am honest and I do right by people. I work hard and I always deliver. I am a renaissance man. I can do anything that I want as long as I am willing to put in the effort. I am a good friend and business partner. These are in fact the stories that I do tell myself. These stories that we tell ourselves have a huge impact on our outlook and values which in turn drive every decision and action day to day. This in turn can set one’s trajectory though life. We become the stories that we tell ourselves.

Looking Forward To Year 5 Outside The Maze

As I make my way toward a bridge, I pass the same 2 deer along the river:

I am almost back to my car and I suppose I am winding down this 4th year summary as well. You haven’t heard from me much this year compared to last. Part of that is because I had more pressing concerns. However, part of it is also by design and was one of my goals coming out of last year’s reflection. I plan to continue to write when I feel that I have something useful or interesting to say. At the same time, all of us have better things to do than put out and/or consume endless online content for the sake of influence or attention. Inspiration and insight are good and I hope this update provides some and finds you making progress. However, we would all do well to kill the masters on the path. Be well and let me close by again thanking all of you who reached out over the last year when I needed it most. I continue to believe that we could use more kindness these days šŸ™‚

I’d love to hear your learnings or insights over the last year if you feel like sharing in the comments below.

If you’re interested in financial independencehappinesssuccessful habits, and adventure, consider subscribing below to get an occasional email directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Financial Independence: Taking Stock]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4819 2022-08-24T13:10:54Z 2022-08-24T11:00:00Z This past Friday, I stood holding a glass of Pliny the Elder talking to Pete aka Mr Money Mustache in the kitchen at his eponymous headquarters up in Longmont.  It…

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This past Friday, I stood holding a glass of Pliny the Elder talking to Pete aka Mr Money Mustache in the kitchen at his eponymous headquarters up in Longmont.  It has been a weird year for me and it was cool to re-connect with my local financial independence community as well as some friends in from out of town.  As we chatted, a steady stream of maybe 15 people sidled in one or two at a time to meet Pete or say a few words to him.  He was super gracious about the whole thing.  

Getting Pulled In

I overheard a discussion from the gathering group next to us where a woman named Stephanie and her husband were talking about how they used to stay in cheap hotels but now can afford more luxury brands.  She revealed that they were financially independent with a buffer and talked excitedly of how they now can afford to buy more expensive things.  I remembered back to my own financial independence journey and how I did a few victory laps when I found out that I was FI.  There was a definite excitement to the idea that I would never need to work anymore to make ends meet.  However, I also thought back on the necessary redefinition of work that I had to go through to feel purposeful.  I thought of the risk of hedonic adaptation one faces as standard of living is increased, and the risk of always feeling like you then need 20% more in order to have enough.

Stephanie and her husband shared that they had amassed enough money to live off of investments under the 4% rule.  However, since the 4% rule is something of a worst case safety net, I offered that in time they may have triple what their current net worth is.  What will you do then, I asked?

They offered something about how they will fly business class all of the time and kind of laughed.  

Yes but if you are part of this community you must understand that these increased expenditures rapidly fall into diminished returns on your happiness.  What is the meaning going to be in your life and how can your finances empower that?

The irony of this conversation is that I was specifically at this event to support my friend Jordan Grumet aka Doc G and celebrate the launch of his book, ā€œTaking Stock.ā€  

Taking Stock

Only 20 minutes prior to my discussion with this young couple, Jordan had shared lessons that he had learned from taking care of the dying for more than a decade as a hospice doctor.Ā  What are you going to regret on your deathbed and what is really most important for happiness and meaning in life?Ā  Jordan has spent years helping others at end of life as they reflected on and weighed in on these very questions.Ā  He is also host of the award winning Earn & Invest Podcast where he has interviewed hundreds of financial independence folks including myself twice(1,2).Ā 

Jordan may be one of the most thoughtful and compassionate people that I know in the FI community.  In fact hospice work is something that he has chosen to do post financial independence.  For those who have written books, you know that this is a labor of passion as opposed to one of financial gain.  Most books sell less than a thousand copies. Jordan worked with a writing coach, spent thousands of hours, and did 3-4 re-writes of this book to do his subject matter justice.   

During the event discussion Jordan read the following passage from his book:

ā€œDaddy, what does it feel like to die?ā€

I drew her in close and held her tightly. ā€œMy sweet child, Iā€™m still trying to figure out what it feels like to live.ā€

What is a good life?

Taking Stock covers the basics in taking stock of ones finances in order to empower living the life you want.  This includes different paths to FI and financial planning.  However, Taking Stock spends more time on taking stock of ones life:

  • How to leverage your resources to develop purpose, identity, and connections 
  • Cutting through what some ā€œFI expertsā€ get wrong
  • Why Maslowā€™s Pyramid needs to be flattened
  • How to understand time and best work with it in oneā€™s life
  • The power of doing now the things most wait to act on until on their deathbed
  • Some of the most powerful investing is not done with money

What is Wealth Really?

The truth is that when many of us talk about wealth it is really a good life culminating in a good death that we are seeking.  As Jordan himself mentioned in his talk, when people in the FI community get together they rarely talk about money but mostly about other things.    

I can vouch for this point first hand.  Earlier that same day, I spent a few hours having lunch with Jordan and a friend and then I took them both on a hike up to this awesome view:

let’s just quick climb this mountain before the book event

We talked about life and mission.  We shared stories.  The subject of money or optimizing finances didnā€™t come up once.  In the early afternoon, we met up at a brewery with some other FI folk.  My friend Leif, The Physician on Fire, was in town for a visit and showed up with his family.  When I started writing online, Leif was one of the first to give me some help and graciously gave me an opportunity to guest post.  At the brewery, he showed up with armloads of pizzas for everyone and we even got to celebrate his wife Rayceā€™s birthday with a cake.

I think of that night at the launch event for Taking Stock.  My friend (and the man that brought me into this community years back) Carl aka Mr 1500 Days emceed the event and helped organize.  Many brought food and drink and/or helped out.  

I remember back to talking to Stephanie and her husband later that night in the kitchen. I am not against spending money but rather interested in spending it well, I explained.Ā  It is not just money that compounds. Habits, skills, and relationships do too.Ā  If you find yourself in that situation where your finances have grown far beyond what you can spend, you could use that money to fuel the other things that have compounded in your life and have a better life and a broader impact.

Or I could just donate the money and let someone else do the work, she offered.

Yes, but you would be giving up something meaningful, I said.

I thought of Pete (Mr Money Mustache) who had stepped away from this kitchen conversation quite awhile ago.  I donā€™t know Pete very well but I see him occasionally and we have many friends in common. As a sort of unintentional celebrity of the FI community, I know lots of people are vying for Pete’s time and he must turn down a lot of offers.  He doesnā€™t write that much online these days.  However, he helped fund and build this gathering place and community where we were all talking.  I see Pete helping people out all of the time here and doing informal sort of coaching and mentoring.  I know he sometimes writes for the local paper and has a sincere and deep commitment to community even if or perhaps because he is not writing about it online every day.  

As I wrapped up my discussion with Stephanie and the others, she mentioned that she does some life coaching.  She also offered that she could help me spend my money if I would like and she gave me her email address.

I donā€™t know if she and I have different thoughts on financial independence and what a good life means or if rather we are just at different stages of our FI journey. However, this could not have been a more fitting audience for Taking Stock.

I think back on that whole day and all of the goodwill and work that others from the community have offered myself and others.  I try to offer some as well.  Based on his book, I think Jordan would call this ā€œconnection.ā€  Maybe we each receive only what we are ready for.  

Should You Order Taking Stock?

For those saving for financial independence, Taking Stock offers some paths to get there and approaches financial planning in an engaging and easy to understand way.

For those who are already financially independent, Taking Stock warns, ā€œI see the same issues arise for the newly financially independent as the ones that surface for my hospice patients when theyā€™re conducting a life review. The only difference is that for the financially independent, these issues are occurring much earlier, when the individuals are young and healthy. And that’s when I realized that money and wealth are stunting our growth.”

As the night wound down for this book launch I remember talking about how I am coming out of this year of going through cancer and thinking of what is next in my life. On one hand I am considering starting some type of larger endeavor that could look like a business. On the other hand, it was less than 6 months ago that I was laying in a bed, had no hair, and nothing worked. All I wanted was more time to enjoy with my wife and family, to be able to enjoy food again, to have time. Throwing myself into an endeavor could put this happiness in jeopardy or create a temporary untenable situation which I am hesitant to do because I donā€™t know how much time I truly have. Jordan offered that I am looking at it too binary. “You mean you can be only mostly dead?”, I quipped mimicking The Princess Bride. After finishing Taking Stock, I understand in a deeper way what Jordan meant with his more than decade of experience in both the FI community and dealing with people’s lives and the way we make meaning.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is not a pyramid where I must achieve the bottom layers before climbing to the next. I can pursue all layers simultaneously. My way of thinking might be an artifact from my experience mostly racing to financial independence like the eldest brother example in Jordan’s book. My time in startups perhaps has only contributed to this false dichotomy that in order to do something worthwhile, I need to go all in and suffer greatly in some ways for huge outcomes in other ways. I can instead use time to build all aspects of work and life incrementally while iteratively minimizing the things that don’t build purpose, identity, or connection. I can also use money as a lever without focusing on the opportunity cost fallacy or getting stuck in the money mind meld. If this sounds good to you or you have no idea what I am talking about, grab yourself a copy of Taking Stock and read it well.

Have your thoughts on money and the meaning of financial independence changed over time? Iā€™d love to hear about it in the comments section below šŸ™‚

Iā€™m passionate about financial independencehappinesssuccessful habits, and adventure. Consider subscribing below to get an occasional email directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles. Itā€™s totally free and totally worth it, I promise.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Diving With Manta Rays]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4800 2022-08-26T11:59:05Z 2022-06-21T10:00:00Z The sun sets the ocean on fire and dips away into darkness.  In the last light a 600 pound critically endangered monk seal flosses itā€™s teeth on our bow line…

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The sun sets the ocean on fire and dips away into darkness.  In the last light a 600 pound critically endangered monk seal flosses itā€™s teeth on our bow line after gorging at the fish farm a quarter mile offshore.  I am already freezing from the first dive. I shiver as I pull back on the top of my wet wetsuit and turn on my light.  Iā€™ve come too far and waited too long to care that much.  I run my fingers through my hair to pull it out of my face as I slip on the mask only to be reminded that my hair is still just promising stubble.  Starting to come back out like me.  

Starting To Come Back Out

15 years ago I was scheduled to dive with mantas off the coast of Hawaii when a storm came in and I had to cancel.  Six months ago I was looking at cancer that had metastasized into my abdomen and was threatening to cancel me.  But the wheel is spun and I get a second chance.  The biggest secret hiding in plain site from the whole experience is that the stuff that stresses and consumes us is usually not what matters.  Itā€™s only work.  They are only pedestrian plans.  All that matters is health and time to spend with the people that you care about. 

You go through cancer alone even though everyone is there for you.Ā  I can see them on a snorkel boat tied next to my dive boat.Ā  They wave and smile and I am so happy to just be here and be with them.Ā  A gift.Ā  Does anyone deserve it.Ā  It doesnā€™t matter just jump in.Ā 

Jumping Into The Dark

I giant step off the rail one hand on my mask.  Blue black bubbles shimmy up and I go down like the other lighted torpedos of my dive mates seeing the hull shrink away and dim above.  We gather around a ring of rocks on the bottom and lights are turned on in the middle.  A campfire of light shines toward heaven, a geyser, a signal like a spotlight in Gotham city to summon something larger than life.

The light brings in plankton which brings in huge manta rays.  They have no teeth or stingers but can be 15-20 feet across and weigh more than a ton.  The first one careens around me and The regulator almost falls out of my agape grin.  For the first 20 minutes I kind of watch in a daze trying to somehow capture the perfect image on my underwater camera that could convey the experience.

  After awhile I decide to stop trying to record it and instead just relax and experience it.  If you find yourself inside Jurassic Park do you try to get a picture of the brontosaurus or do you just watch as it cranes its head 25 feet above its 30 ton frame? I released my camera and it falls taught on the thin cable lanyard.  Almost with a wink I am immediately rewarded as a giant 15 foot manta materializes at the fringe. 

An Improbable Experience

On one hand this is a contrived experience.  The mantas show up because we made it.  However, it is also somehow improbable. Like being in Antarctica when suddenly a penguin waddles over and kisses you on the cheek.  I donā€™t really belong here but none the less that 15 foot manta flies toward me like an albatross in slow motion.  As it passes through a beam of light a foot away from my face, it flares its shark like gills gulping plankton and then does a double backflip in perfect symmetry.  I feel the power of a whoosh of water past my face betraying the truth that this nimble butterfly is actually a one ton powerhouse.  To be chomping at a midnight campfire buffet; not just eating but dancing too.  To go from lying in a bed to being 30 feet underwater at the base of a volcano at night 2,500 miles off of the continent swimming with manta rays.

Coming Back

Back on the boat, I am quiet.  I sip hot chocolate while others try to verbalize the euphoria that we share.  The outboard drones as we head back toward the lights of land across the water.  Behind us in the sky 2 red beacons on the wings of an airplane approach the airport looking on like the eyes of a giant manta in the sky.  I look overboard and green sparks bioluminesce in the prop wash like lightning through clouds.  I am heading back to the light.  My family will be there.  We are here together.  There will be more sunrises and sunsets šŸ™‚

Do you have an experience that had special meaning to you? I’d love to hear about it in the comments section below šŸ™‚

Iā€™m passionate about financial independencehappinesssuccessful habits, and adventure. Consider subscribing below to get an occasional email directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles. Itā€™s totally free and totally worth it, I promise.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Fighting Cancer While Accepting Humility]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4780 2022-06-18T16:18:36Z 2022-03-29T19:30:00Z When I went in for the first day of chemo, I was ready to kick cancerā€™s ass!  I immediately passed out during the first blood draw.  As if to say…

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When I went in for the first day of chemo, I was ready to kick cancerā€™s ass!  I immediately passed out during the first blood draw.  As if to say get ready because the only ass getting kicked here will be your own.  I remember saying that I felt a little dizzy and then realizing I was asleep and thinking, oh crap why am I sleeping right now.  I know I have something important that I am supposed to be doing and I should be awake!  As I came to, there were several women in my face with their hands on me holding me from sliding out of the chair and I remember putting my fists up like I was going to fight off these attackers that were actually nurses.  

Fighting Cancer

My first lesson of chemo is that I am not some hero or fighter.  Physically I am a lump at the mercy of some of the most compassionate and amazing healthcare professionals that do the fighting.  Every day on behalf of myself and an endless stream of the afflicted, they bring diligence, cheer, and humanity to people like me that feel so far from it.   As I go into a zombie like fog during infusion treatments, they make sure everything happens perfectly.  The dose, the settings, the management of side effects.  

The Reality of My Chemotherapy

The best way to describe chemo is that it is literally poison.  Cancer cells are a little weaker than healthy ones, so as you are poisoned they die slightly before your healthy cells doā€¦but only slightly.  This is why I am monitored so closely. Even after chemo, it will take my body many many months to repair and heal from the damage.

For something so common, chemotherapy is freaking hard!!! Based on NCCN guidelines, I kind of had a choice between 4 cycles of 2 poisons (EP) or 3 cycles of 3 poisons (BEP) but it would be more aggressive.  Of course I went for the 3 because I prefer quick and hard rather than draw it out.  It also has some anecdotally better results for my type of testicular cancer.  I had to get a lung and kidney function test before starting to make sure that my body could handle the cocktail of three.  

How Chemotherapy Felt For Me

In the beginning it was just the constant nausea, difficulty eating and sleeping, and feeling out of it.  Toward the middle added in, the ringing in my ears, my fingertips hurting too much to play the guitar, the constant blood coming from my nose whenever I blow it, and the inability to focus on anything resembling useful or productive thought.  By the 3rd cycle, my lung function is so poor that I attempt a walk around the block and weeze like I have run 6 miles.

By the end of my 3rd cycle, I kind of feel the loss of my humanity.  I have no ego.  Itā€™s not just that I have no hair and there is a port in my chest.  Things arenā€™t funny to me, and I donā€™t have the energy to make conversation.  I try to not hold a painful face when I notice how forlorn I look.  On some days I spike fevers and the nausea rises to debilitating on others.  I try to fake some conversation with the boys so that they know dad is just putting in some time but everything will be ok. 

The Lucky One

Chemo for me is 9 weeks that feels like a year.  However, I know that others go through 6 or even 9 cycles.  I canā€™t imagine how you feel emerging from that.  However, I will venture that it crushes the soul and out the other side comes a diamond or just a handful of dust.  It humbles me.  After all, I am told that if you have to have cancer, I have one of the ā€œgood ones.”  My chart reads, ā€œtreatment with curative intent.ā€  I talk with other patients sometimes in passing.  This guy has pancreatic cancer.  She has lung cancer. 

Weird Things Happen When You Have Cancer

Weird things happen to you when you have cancer.  I remember way back in mid December someone telling me ā€œwow testicular cancer you really dodged a bullet there.ā€  Someone else told me they heard ā€œabout my scare.ā€  People also tell you that you are brave or a hero.  But it sure doesn’t feel very heroic just lying in a chair. I  I also donā€™t really have a choice.  I could be the least brave coward of all time but it doesnā€™t matter.  We deal with reality as it presents itself.  

People text me asking how I am feeling today or if I am feeling better.  I am not feeling better and will not feel better by design.  The chemo builds and I will feel worse until it is over.  A few days later they text me the same question again.  Please just send me a joke or pictures or you doing something awesome.  Either would bring a smile to my pallid face.  A week laterā€¦ā€hey howā€™s it goingā€ā€¦me undergoing 7 hours at the infusion center and popping pills like tic tacs.    

Weirder Things Happen When You Have Cancer

Weirder things happen when you have cancer.  I ran out of meds and made an impromptu trip that Iā€™ll call ā€œfear and loathing at the King Supers Pharmacy.ā€  The meds werenā€™t ready yet so I tried to dizzily walk around the store but immediately was so out of breath that I rested on a stack of 12 packs by the pharmacy window.  The lady in front of me in line turned to me and said ā€œdo you know fear is just an illusion.ā€  Some other woman tried to cut in front of both of us but this strange lady protested.  She continued, ā€œYou can do anything but they donā€™t want you to know that.ā€  She brought up Jesus and the government.  ā€œI see you,ā€ she said.  ā€œYou are important.ā€ I looked her in the eye.  I could see the chemo in her face and she wore a cancer beanie like I had on.  Not because you care what you look like but simply because your head gets really cold without hair.  ā€œI know you,ā€ she said.  ā€œI have been fighting cancer for a couple of years and have another disease too.ā€  ā€œI see you.  You are important,ā€ she kept repeating loudly like a street corner prophet.  The other woman waiting looked terrified and I had tears in my eyes.  I donā€™t know if it was being overwhelmed in my weak nauseous state in desperate need of emetics, or whether it was because cancer is f*cking lonely, or whether it was because I could see the humanity screaming out from someone who had been through a years long battle of repeated treatments with cancer and more.  She could be any of us.    

What Can I Do To Fight Cancer

What can you actually do to fight cancer?  If you know me personally, I am probably one of the most unwavering optimists in your life.  I can show up every day and try to keep a positive attitude.  I can never miss a treatment. This is hugely important and easier said than done.  However, it sits in the back of my mind that much of my attitude or my thoughts may not matter.  It is all up to how the drugs take to the cancer and to the metabolic pathways of the cells over time.  I try to envision the cancer shrinking.  I take walks around the block at least 4 times a week despite it all.  We do what we can one day at a time.

Support Comes From Surprising Places

Through this experience so far I have had extended family that flew across the country during my 3rd cycle and were a half mile away but didnā€™t drop by or call.  Iā€™ve also had distant acquaintances offer to take me to all day infusion appointments or text me weekly motivations to get through this.  Some people are great with stuff like cancer and others suck at it.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  

In all, the outpouring of support that I have received has been kind of amazing to me.  Neighbors have shoveled our driveway every single time it snowed.  Our freezer is full of overflow meals and a group of my friends gave me a pretty much endless Door Dash gift card that has been a godsend.  Total strangers who follow this site have reached out with love, support, and words of wisdom that I never expected.  I have connected with cancer survivors, health care professionals, and many of you have shared your stories, your well wishes, and your appreciation for some of these writings.  As a guy who has always been fiercely independent, I have leaned on you and I thank you.  In a time of heightened anger and partisanship I have gotten a huge dose of how good people are.  

Support Comes From Familiar Places

My siblings each flew out to be there during chemo which was great even if I couldn’t express it very well because of the fatigue. My parents pitched in to help with meals, driving, and chemo as well. At the center of it all my lady took on everything that I normally do and more. She organized schedules, was there at every critical appointment and did it all while working and going through cancer 2nd hand herself. Everyone asks how I am doing but few ask her. Cancer spouses go through it too but are even more powerless and have less support in some ways. I wish I could say that I had the presence of mind to see this from the beginning but the truth is that I am only realizing it now as chemo winds down. Thank you partner.

I Finished Chemotherapy

It is the end of my final week of chemo and has been a few days since my last treatment!!!  My sense of taste has come back a little bit more when eating and water tastes less like metal.  I donā€™t know if the chemo was successful.  I will get a scan in a couple of weeks.  If that looks good, I am in ā€œremissionā€ for years with tests and the ever present possibility that the next scan shows tumors.  What I am saying here is that I need to adjust to a new normal of living life despite risk and fears.  In some ways it is really just an exaggerated form of what I had to do to claim my financial independence.  We could all die or get cancer at any time after all.  

Am I Cancer Free?

Those who have been through this have told me that if the first scan is negative everyone will want to celebrate but I may not be there yet.  They say I may also benefit from some therapy or talking with others.  It is not a trivial experience to go through a disease that has a chance of killing you and I am a big proponent of prioritizing mental health.  For me strength is getting the therapy.  That is the hard but necessary thing.  Weakness is gritting my teeth like some 1980ā€™s action hero only to end up with PTSD or having things vent out in weird ways onto those close to me that I care about most. 

I am hopeful to be adventuring through life and finance again and sharing whatever seems like it might help or inspire others along the way. My goal is always to live my best life under whatever conditions I am presented with.  So I guess here I go boldly one day at a time.

Feel free to share your own experience, ask a question, or offer comment below…

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[The 20 Most Beautiful Places In The World]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4716 2022-08-26T11:21:53Z 2022-02-14T13:00:00Z What is the most beautiful place that you’ve ever seen in your life?Ā  It’s almost an impossibleĀ question.Ā  In my life so far, I have been to 40 of theĀ 50 United…

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What is the most beautiful place that you’ve ever seen in your life?Ā  It’s almost an impossibleĀ question.Ā  In my life so far, I have been to 40 of theĀ 50 United States and seen some amazing things.Ā  I have also had the privilege to spend time in around 30 countries, about 2 years of my life outside of the USA.Ā  I am grateful for these experiences and it brings a big smile to my face whenever I reminisce.Ā Ā 

Why Create a List of The 20 Most Beautiful Places In The World

I have cancer and am in the middle of chemotherapy right now and so it is not a bad time to do something that brings a big smile to my face.  Over the last week, I have been looking back over 19 years of photos from these experiences asking the impossible but fun question of what is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been?  What is the most beautiful photo I’ve ever taken?  And now I’m going to deliver the answers to you while enjoying the hell out of every minute of it. 

The Most Beautiful Places In The World: My Ranking Criteria

I’ll keep this brief so we can get on with gawking at photos.

  • Striking beauty and grandeur. The view has to be a jaw dropper. You just know it when you see it. Preference given to views and landscapes rather than masterpiece artworks or engineering marvels.
  • Historical or Cultural Significance. There are many beautiful emperor tombs in India but only one Taj Mahal. Preference was given to places of greater historical or cultural significance.
  • Repeatable Experience. Sure I think the place where I got engaged is beautiful or the time that I caught the perfect snorkeling conditions off Captain Cook Monument, but to make this list it has to be easily repeatable to any visitor.

Without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the 20 most beautiful places I’ve ever been:


#1 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Halong Bay, Vietnam

#2 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Forbidden City, Beijing, China.

This might be my favorite photo that I’ve ever taken and I just snapped it quick on a whim. An iconic and uniquely symbolic Chinese image. At almost 7.75 million square feet and 8,728 rooms, the Forbidden City is far and away the largest royal palace and the biggest collection of medieval wooden buildings in the world. Emperors and dynasties ran the ancient Chinese empire right here! As a bonus, climb Jingshan hill and check out the sprawling footprint of the Forbidden City from above.

#3 Most Beautiful Places In The World: El Tajo Gorge, Ronda, Spain

A toast to one hell of a view

Sitting on this balcony in Andalusia, I could see birds hovering below me and then swoop down into the gorge. The sun sets off the walls of the buildings like a fire. The bridge is a medieval fairy tale. Hemingway loved this place and may have based a scene in For Whom The Bell Tolls on this bridge. Hundreds of people were thrown off the edge into this gorge during the Spanish Civil War. Gruesome to be sure but at least the last thing they saw was one of the most amazing vistas I have ever taken in.

#4 Most Beautiful Places In The World: ā€˜Akaka falls, Hilo, Hawaii

The big island in Hawaii has the most beautiful waterfalls that I have ever seen. Not only ‘Akaka falls shown above but as a sweet sweet two for one Hiilawe Falls is just down the road in the WaipiŹ»o Valley.

Getting to this 2nd waterfall is trickier and involves going down one of the steepest roads in the USA and then hiking. My uncles used to live in the WaipiŹ»o valley. While staying with them, I had the luxury of rolling out of bed, eating some fresh fruit off the tree, and then setting off on foot straight to the base of this 1450 foot tall stunner.

#5 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Taj Mahal, Agra, India

The Taj is an architectural masterpiece that just affects you on another level when you take in the white marble and fountains. There is also gardens and a mosque. The photo above was actually taken from gardens across the river which is still very beautiful but slower with no crowds.

#6 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Meteora, Greece

Monks who feared the occupying Turks built this series of monasteries on top of cliffs that tower over the plane. Visiting is like going through a time machine as the monks still study there, make their own wine, have libraries that look like Harry Potter, etc. Many of these monasteries were only accessible via a rope and Pulley until only a century ago. When I visited, I took a moped and a bunch of stairs. Why do monks seem to build communities in the most improbable of places? This place is one of a kind.

#7 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Giza, Egypt

Perhaps the most fascinating ancient empire was the Egyptians. Even 4000+ years after their construction, the pyramids and sphinx still dazzle and captivate the world. It is simply a must see.

#8 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Imperial Palace and Gardens (in fall), Tokyo, Japan.

The Imperial Palace and surrounding gardens is immaculate. I had the pleasure of being in Japan in the fall and it is the most stunning fall colors I have ever seen. Believe it or not, the photo below has not been color adjusted:

#9 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Hill Tribe Rice Paddies, Vietnam

The terraced rice paddies of the hillsides of Northern Vietnam look like a giant functional sculpture. They roll through the fog beautiful and bright green hill after hill. Tribe people still live traditional lives among the paddies.

…wait should you be playing with a rusty knife?

I had the pleasure of being in Vietnam during the Tet holiday and still remember so many orange trees vertical on the backs of mopeds in Hanoi that it looked like a huge moving forest zipping by.

#10 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Angkor, Siem Reap, Cambodia

This is the most Indiana Jones place that I have ever been. Believe it or not, it was lost to the jungle until “re-discovered” in the 1840’s. Angkor is a sprawling 400 acre temple complex in the jungles of Cambodia. The Khmer empire of a thousand years ago was amazingly advanced. Today, trees grow out of the side of some temples and jungle encroaches on others. The juxtaposition of staggering temples in the middle of a jungle is unparalleled.

#11 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Santorini, Greece

Everyone snaps photos of the blue domed churches of Santorini but the real star is the Caldera view. I biked this whole island and loved every minute of it. Cute little piers, windmill houses, and the blue waters of the Aegean Sea. Believe it or not Santorini may have been the inspiration for Plato’s Atlantis! Also check out this bonus photo below of a Santorini sunset:

That turquoise hue in the lower left of the photo above is not photoshopped, it is an oil spill from a ship that sank while I was visiting. The boat is a scrubber boat and the ring is a containment attempt.

#12 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Rain Forest, Costa Rica

Costa Rica only takes up 0.03 percent of the earth’s surface but it contains nearly 6% of the worlds biodiversity. The rain forests are pristine and magical. This pic is from my first visit to Corcovado National Park but I had a blast introducing my kids to Costa Rica just a couple of months ago.

#13 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Great Wall, China

It’s like seeing an old castle…that keeps going along the mountainside as far as the eye can see. The landscape itself is almost beautiful enough to make this list but then the great wall overwhelms you with it’s scope as it snakes from peak to peak. It took almost 2 million people to build this thing!

#14 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Grand Canyon, USA

I have stood on the edge of so many canyons and the top of so many mountains and been in awe. Many of these would have fit inside the grand canyon. It wins by sheer size. The dramatic red rock layers and mesas tower over the Colorado River.

#15 Most Beautiful Places In The World: The Grand Palace, Bangkok, Thailand

Bangkok is a backpackers paradise. Everything you could want and all at prices you can afford. The Grand Palace is the most ornate palace for a ruler that I have ever seen. Loaded with gold, mosaics of color, artworks, and temples. It is one of those places that pictures don’t do justice to.

#16 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Victoria Peak, Hong Kong, China

Some may find this weird but I find city skylines to be beautiful. So beautiful that half way through making this list of the 20 most beautiful places, I decided to make a list of my top 10 favorite cities! The Hong Kong skyline is the most magnificent I have seen. Viewing it from Victoria Peak is like flying as a bird over the city and the bay where you can take it all in.

#17 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Neuschwanstein Castle, Bavaria, Germany

I have always loved castles and this is the most beautiful one in the world. This is the inspiration for the Disney castle and the most opulent of Ludwig the 2nd’s many castles and palaces. You can take in a couple in a day. Also, don’t miss hiking to the Queen Mary’s bridge to look down on the castle from where I snapped this photo.

#18 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Golden Pagoda, Kyoto, Japan

Kyoto is just jammed with amazing temples, the endless orange gates of the Fushimi Inari Shrine, the weight of the Kiyomizu-dera, the stacked pagodas and gardens of the Toji Temple. If I had to pick just one, it would be the Kinkaku-ji Golden Temple. It is just kind of perfect even though I snapped this picture in the rain.

#19 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Yangtze River, China.

I have to confess that I floated the Yangtze just before water levels were raised by hundreds of feet with the completion of the 3 Gorges Dam. It was crazy to see entire villages that would soon be underwater by over a hundred feet. However, I am told that it remains breathtaking. The river is just plain huge and the dramatic bluffs towering along it make for constant views around every bend.

#20 Most Beautiful Places In The World: Venice, Italy.

Where else are the streets made of water? Only Venice. It is singular and seemingly impossible. I could drink a whole bottle of wine just walking the bridges and walkways only to end up at Piazza San Marco and be reminded that this was once a rich maritime empire. See it before it sinks!

My Photos of The Most Beautiful Places Have Changed Over Time

Pulling these 20 places meant reviewing 19 years of digital photos for me. I even dusted off actual photo albums to go back a bit more. One thing that I noticed is that my photos got way worse as I went back in time. Some of my older Europe photos looked like they were just snapped as a memory reminder of that place but with no care as to what the photo looked like. They look that way because they were. I have written before about the risk of trying to portray a beautiful life when it becomes at the expense of actually focusing on living beautiful moments. I hope this is not what has happened to me. Rather, I hope that I have just become a better photographer who realizes that much of the value of experiences is in the anticipation of the experience and then the memory of it. I can say that looking through these photos has made me smile and laugh at a time when I need it most.

Searching For the Most Beautiful Place In The World vs. Being In The Most Beautiful Place

Having Cancer, has a way of clarifying what is important in life in a way that is tough to explain. It’s not the stresses that dominate our modern lives, material things, or success. It has nothing to do with your body or clothing or your social identity. It is all about having more time to be in moments and sharing as many of them as possible with people you love. Money is very important but only to the point that it enables this.

There’s a lyric in a song that I wrote that goes, “we live for so long but maybe life is short with long spaces in between.”  When I look back over my travels so far, the places above are some of my most vivid snapshots sprinkled between lots of mundane logistics.  It is worthwhile to maximize the vivid snapshots. At the same time, it is of course silly to call these or any 20 places the most beautiful in the world. 

Some of my best experiences in life are nowhere near picturesque enough to make this list.  My own deck, the tiny lake I grew up on, and the seat next to my wife are some of my favorite places in the world.  There is wisdom in that.  While it is good to plan and seek stunning experiences, it is just as important to be where you are and enjoy that moment.  May you find your own Most Beautiful Places and be inspired by these šŸ™‚

What places would be on your list? Which was it a crime that I left out? Share in the comments below?

Iā€™m passionate about financial independencehappinesssuccessful habits, and adventure. Consider subscribing below to get an occasional email directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles. Itā€™s totally free and totally worth it, I promise.

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Life Outside The Maze https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com <![CDATA[Um…I Have Cancer]]> https://lifeoutsidethemaze.com/?p=4673 2022-02-01T15:00:20Z 2022-01-23T11:21:03Z As I slid into the MRI machine, it closed in around me.  Radiohead came on in my headphones singing “What the hell am I doing here…I don’t belong here.”  Talk…

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As I slid into the MRI machine, it closed in around me.  Radiohead came on in my headphones singing “What the hell am I doing here…I don’t belong here.”  Talk about the perfect lyric, I thought.  I don’t feel like I have cancer.  So many friends and family tell me that I am the last person that they would think this would happen to.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  It was certainly not part of my plan.  Shortly before Christmas I was blind sided with testicular cancer.  I had an ultrasound on a Tuesday that showed something and I was in for surgery by Friday.  As I was waiting in pre-op, I found out that it had spread to other areas.  Hence, me sitting in the MRI waiting to find out if it was in my brain (thankfully it was not). 

My silver lining is that I will most likely live.  However, there is that minority percentage.  Sometimes when I am laying awake at night, that percentage is the one that screams.  I think about my kids, my wife, my family.  They need me and I have too much love and life to give.

I usually write on this site about successful habits, building wealth, practicing happiness, and seeking an adventurous life through applying one’s self.  I like to think that I have some useful knowledge to share in these areas.  However, when it comes to this cancer, I’ll admit that I have no idea what I am doing.  All of my cleverly placed dominos so neatly arranged and then a big slobbering dog comes running through the door.  I am trying to learn as I go and I have never felt more vulnerable.  

Asking For Help

I am not great at asking for help but I am working on thatā€¦  If you have been through testicular cancer and have any advice, stories, books, blogs, etc, that you would recommend I’d love to hear from you.  I start 2-3 months of chemo tomorrow 1/24/22. As you read this there is a good chance that I am on an IV getting mildly poisoned while simultaneously getting built up by steroids. If this site has meant something to you and you want to offer a few words to give me a boost please shoot me a private message ([email protected]).  I’ll take anything that I can get šŸ™‚  

I don’t know how much I will feel like writing over the coming months.  I’ll have lots of time and may love the distraction.  However, I may also not have as much energy or focus and may just fall off for a while.  So I want to make sure that I at least share some things that have been on my mind before the storm starts back up. 

The Paradox of Life

I donā€™t want to die.  I donā€™t mean from this cancer, I mean ever.  The more you build in life, the more you leave behind.  Why would I ever want to leave?  However, it is inevitable.  Paradoxically, this may be what makes life beautiful.  Death is actually the very reason that we get out of bed in the morning.  Seize the day.  Why?  Because you only have so many.  The great paradox of life is that it is precious because it is finite.  However, the fear from this awareness is sometimes the very thing that holds us back from being most alive.  Hence, we fall into a habit of operating as though we have all of the time in the world until we are jolted back into the present by a reminder.  The most beautiful may be so because it is the most improbable and fleeting.

A Premonition?

You want to hear something creepy?  This is part of a post that I wrote this summer from a beach in Costa Rica:

When I left my job 2.5 years ago, I recognized something. If I got cancer tomorrow, I would not regret if my career ended up being only 15 years instead of 20 or even 35.  However, I would regret time lost with family while my kids were young.  I would regret weakening some of my relationships that I assumed I had infinite time to repair someday.  I would regret not having done some of those childhood dreams, travels, and, adventures.  I donā€™t know how much time I have left in the bank but I get to make choices that build what the future looks like. I am grateful for that opportunity.  As my own needs change over time, I hope to pursue them without grand revelations or regret.

I have a similar prophetic quote at 1:20:40-1:22:47 in this podcast that I did with some friends this summer on Mile High FI.

Did I already have the cancer and somehow subconsciously know it?  Nah.  I have just known for a long time that the statistical odds are about 40% that you will get cancer at some point in your life so it seemed like a good example.  

Financial Independence and Achieving Dreams

I love that bit I wrote above about pursuing my needs without grand revelations or regret.  Take a moment and think about the measure of comfort and peace that position brings when your life gets knocked over by one of those big slobbering dogs like my cancer.  At the risk of coming off as self congratulatory, understand that the guy saying that already achieved financial independence several years back and has been spending the last 3 years outside of traditional work.  He has been focusing on being a better human.  He has been trying to responsibly build happiness.  He has made some awesome memories with his kids, and he has been in the fortunate position to pursue some really joyous and weird childhood dreams such as joining a dinosaur dig, or diving for sunken treasure.

Financial Independence When You Get Knocked Down

The promise of doing fun adventures and sitting on beaches is kind of the sugar that helps the medicine go down for most as they diligently save and invest on the road to financial independence.  However, we think much less about that big slobbering dog that could come running through at any moment.  The big bad surprises that kind of change everything.  While financial independence empowered me to responsibly fund some adventures, in many ways dealing with slobbering dogs may be when financial independence helps the most.

I am about to lose my hair and look like a zombie for a few months.  How would I hold down a job while going to chemo for 6-8 hours a day some weeks?  My wife too will likely need to scale back to support me and she will have to do all of the day to day stuff that we used to split between two.  

Three of my scans and the very ultrasound that found my cancer were all initially deemed ā€œnot medically necessary,ā€ by my insurance company.  I was literally in the waiting room for one scan on the day of my surgery when I got a call saying that the scan was denied and I may have to pay $13,000 out of pocket if I do it and the authorization fails to come through. What do I do?!  This is where financial independence really helps.  We can focus on the things that matter most in these times without fearing whether we will go bankrupt or what will happen to our careers.  

This is not the glamorous lifestyle that motivated me when we were saving and investing the majority of our paychecks in our 20ā€™s.  When I started rehabbing properties in the evenings after work in my early 30ā€™s, I didnā€™t know that I would get get cancer at 42.  Still, here I am and never has it been more important to me to be financially solid.

A Call To Action and The Real Power of Financial Independence

Empowered by financial independence, I set out 3 years ago to start working for myself for happiness rather than working for others for money. I have had the opportunity to re-design my life and spend this time doing exactly what I wanted to do. What a gift! I have traveled, made music, met some new friends, explored the outdoors, gotten in shape, written a screen play, learned Muay Thai, taught some college courses, and shared experiences with my kids. I have also learned a lot about myself, what motivates me, and what I thought I wanted but really don’t. The pursuit and realization of financial independence empowered me to do this. I am grateful for these experiences. None of us knows how much time that we have left and many things fall by the wayside when life or health of loved ones is suddenly in jeopardy.

Cancer has a way of immediately distilling one’s priorities to the critical few. For example, ever since I was little I have been casually collecting a loose set of features that I want in my dream house. I plan to build it some day. However, I remember sitting on the couch watching a show about amazing homes with my kids right after getting my diagnosis and thinking, who cares where you live? Health, time, the wellbeing of my kids, lazy mornings talking with my wife, that’s a home. The rest is just window dressing.

Money certainly isn’t saving me from this life shock and its ongoing challenges. However, it can cushion the blow. Financial independence means that I know my kids will be provided for. I know that we can go through this time without worrying about paying the bills or damaging a career necessary to support our lifestyle. While this is not the rich life that was on my mind in my 20’s or 30’s while working toward financial independence, it may be the biggest benefit. Life is precious and beautiful. I plan to be around for as long as possible. While I am the example in this article, it’s really not about me. I am merely offering it up for you. My hope is that this piece inspires you to action…Now excuse me while I go beat the crap out of this cancer.

Feel free to leave a public comment below or send me a private message through the “contact me” form at the very bottom of the page.

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