Financial Independence: Taking Stock

This past Friday, I stood holding a glass of Pliny the Elder talking to Pete aka Mr Money Mustache in the kitchen at his eponymous headquarters up in Longmont.  It has been a weird year for me and it was cool to re-connect with my local financial independence community as well as some friends in from out of town.  As we chatted, a steady stream of maybe 15 people sidled in one or two at a time to meet Pete or say a few words to him.  He was super gracious about the whole thing.  

Getting Pulled In

I overheard a discussion from the gathering group next to us where a woman named Stephanie and her husband were talking about how they used to stay in cheap hotels but now can afford more luxury brands.  She revealed that they were financially independent with a buffer and talked excitedly of how they now can afford to buy more expensive things.  I remembered back to my own financial independence journey and how I did a few victory laps when I found out that I was FI.  There was a definite excitement to the idea that I would never need to work anymore to make ends meet.  However, I also thought back on the necessary redefinition of work that I had to go through to feel purposeful.  I thought of the risk of hedonic adaptation one faces as standard of living is increased, and the risk of always feeling like you then need 20% more in order to have enough.

Stephanie and her husband shared that they had amassed enough money to live off of investments under the 4% rule.  However, since the 4% rule is something of a worst case safety net, I offered that in time they may have triple what their current net worth is.  What will you do then, I asked?

They offered something about how they will fly business class all of the time and kind of laughed.  

Yes but if you are part of this community you must understand that these increased expenditures rapidly fall into diminished returns on your happiness.  What is the meaning going to be in your life and how can your finances empower that?

The irony of this conversation is that I was specifically at this event to support my friend Jordan Grumet aka Doc G and celebrate the launch of his book, “Taking Stock.”  

Taking Stock

Only 20 minutes prior to my discussion with this young couple, Jordan had shared lessons that he had learned from taking care of the dying for more than a decade as a hospice doctor. What are you going to regret on your deathbed and what is really most important for happiness and meaning in life? Jordan has spent years helping others at end of life as they reflected on and weighed in on these very questions. He is also host of the award winning Earn & Invest Podcast where he has interviewed hundreds of financial independence folks including myself twice(1,2).

Jordan may be one of the most thoughtful and compassionate people that I know in the FI community.  In fact hospice work is something that he has chosen to do post financial independence.  For those who have written books, you know that this is a labor of passion as opposed to one of financial gain.  Most books sell less than a thousand copies. Jordan worked with a writing coach, spent thousands of hours, and did 3-4 re-writes of this book to do his subject matter justice.   

During the event discussion Jordan read the following passage from his book:

“Daddy, what does it feel like to die?”

I drew her in close and held her tightly. “My sweet child, I’m still trying to figure out what it feels like to live.”

What is a good life?

Taking Stock covers the basics in taking stock of ones finances in order to empower living the life you want.  This includes different paths to FI and financial planning.  However, Taking Stock spends more time on taking stock of ones life:

• How to leverage your resources to develop purpose, identity, and connections 
• Cutting through what some “FI experts” get wrong
• Why Maslow’s Pyramid needs to be flattened
• How to understand time and best work with it in one’s life
• The power of doing now the things most wait to act on until on their deathbed
• Some of the most powerful investing is not done with money

What is Wealth Really?

The truth is that when many of us talk about wealth it is really a good life culminating in a good death that we are seeking.  As Jordan himself mentioned in his talk, when people in the FI community get together they rarely talk about money but mostly about other things.    

I can vouch for this point first hand.  Earlier that same day, I spent a few hours having lunch with Jordan and a friend and then I took them both on a hike up to this awesome view:

We talked about life and mission.  We shared stories.  The subject of money or optimizing finances didn’t come up once.  In the early afternoon, we met up at a brewery with some other FI folk.  My friend Leif, The Physician on Fire, was in town for a visit and showed up with his family.  When I started writing online, Leif was one of the first to give me some help and graciously gave me an opportunity to guest post.  At the brewery, he showed up with armloads of pizzas for everyone and we even got to celebrate his wife Rayce’s birthday with a cake.

I think of that night at the launch event for Taking Stock.  My friend (and the man that brought me into this community years back) Carl aka Mr 1500 Days emceed the event and helped organize.  Many brought food and drink and/or helped out.  

I remember back to talking to Stephanie and her husband later that night in the kitchen. I am not against spending money but rather interested in spending it well, I explained. It is not just money that compounds. Habits, skills, and relationships do too. If you find yourself in that situation where your finances have grown far beyond what you can spend, you could use that money to fuel the other things that have compounded in your life and have a better life and a broader impact.

Or I could just donate the money and let someone else do the work, she offered.

Yes, but you would be giving up something meaningful, I said.

I thought of Pete (Mr Money Mustache) who had stepped away from this kitchen conversation quite awhile ago.  I don’t know Pete very well but I see him occasionally and we have many friends in common. As a sort of unintentional celebrity of the FI community, I know lots of people are vying for Pete’s time and he must turn down a lot of offers.  He doesn’t write that much online these days.  However, he helped fund and build this gathering place and community where we were all talking.  I see Pete helping people out all of the time here and doing informal sort of coaching and mentoring.  I know he sometimes writes for the local paper and has a sincere and deep commitment to community even if or perhaps because he is not writing about it online every day.  

As I wrapped up my discussion with Stephanie and the others, she mentioned that she does some life coaching.  She also offered that she could help me spend my money if I would like and she gave me her email address.

I don’t know if she and I have different thoughts on financial independence and what a good life means or if rather we are just at different stages of our FI journey. However, this could not have been a more fitting audience for Taking Stock.

I think back on that whole day and all of the goodwill and work that others from the community have offered myself and others.  I try to offer some as well.  Based on his book, I think Jordan would call this “connection.”  Maybe we each receive only what we are ready for.  

Should You Order Taking Stock?

For those saving for financial independence, Taking Stock offers some paths to get there and approaches financial planning in an engaging and easy to understand way.

For those who are already financially independent, Taking Stock warns, “I see the same issues arise for the newly financially independent as the ones that surface for my hospice patients when they’re conducting a life review. The only difference is that for the financially independent, these issues are occurring much earlier, when the individuals are young and healthy. And that’s when I realized that money and wealth are stunting our growth.”

As the night wound down for this book launch I remember talking about how I am coming out of this year of going through cancer and thinking of what is next in my life. On one hand I am considering starting some type of larger endeavor that could look like a business. On the other hand, it was less than 6 months ago that I was laying in a bed, had no hair, and nothing worked. All I wanted was more time to enjoy with my wife and family, to be able to enjoy food again, to have time. Throwing myself into an endeavor could put this happiness in jeopardy or create a temporary untenable situation which I am hesitant to do because I don’t know how much time I truly have. Jordan offered that I am looking at it too binary. “You mean you can be only mostly dead?”, I quipped mimicking The Princess Bride. After finishing Taking Stock, I understand in a deeper way what Jordan meant with his more than decade of experience in both the FI community and dealing with people’s lives and the way we make meaning.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is not a pyramid where I must achieve the bottom layers before climbing to the next. I can pursue all layers simultaneously. My way of thinking might be an artifact from my experience mostly racing to financial independence like the eldest brother example in Jordan’s book. My time in startups perhaps has only contributed to this false dichotomy that in order to do something worthwhile, I need to go all in and suffer greatly in some ways for huge outcomes in other ways. I can instead use time to build all aspects of work and life incrementally while iteratively minimizing the things that don’t build purpose, identity, or connection. I can also use money as a lever without focusing on the opportunity cost fallacy or getting stuck in the money mind meld. If this sounds good to you or you have no idea what I am talking about, grab yourself a copy of Taking Stock and read it well.

Have your thoughts on money and the meaning of financial independence changed over time? I’d love to hear about it in the comments section below 🙂

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