My grandmother died of ovarian cancer when I was just a baby. I have a picture of me meeting her as an infant. My father told me that she held me in her lap despite the pain with a smile on her face. She was considered a saint by many in the local community. Some time after she died, my grandfather married a younger woman. While he lived to be 100 and passed away 5 years ago, my second grandmother for all but 6 months of my life, just turned 80 last month.
She is an amazing woman in her own right. Raised in an orphanage, she became a teacher and eventually a principal of a Catholic school in inner city Chicago. She is tough as nails and somehow simultaneously compassionate and caring. We had planned a surprise celebration for her 80th birthday over this Christmas break. It involved good food and a polka band. How midwest is that?
However, just this last week I found out that she won’t be coming to Christmas. In fact, the throat cancer that she had just gone through treatment for has returned at an alarming speed. I found out this week that the estimated time frame is that she has months left to live. Truthfully I don’t feel much like writing. However, I’m not sharing this to bring you down during this time meant for celebrating. Quite the opposite in fact.
The Time We Have
When we lose people in our life, it shakes us and makes us examine our own lives and how we are spending the time we do have. Of course none of us knows how much time we have left in the bank. I have written before about how time is the currency that only flows one way out of our account. With this is mind, I’ll keep this holiday wish short and to the point as many of us gather with loved ones.
My Holiday Wish
My wish for myself and others this holiday season is to enjoy what good fortune we do have and those people close to us in our lives while they are here. To slow down and make time for moments of compassion and communication amongst the craziness that is often the holiday norm. Tradition can be good but don’t just make your holidays an obligation. If it is not the Christmas that you want, create new traditions. Perhaps even involve new people. After all while I sincerely enjoy my family, I also understand that it is a broad and flexible word.
Making Resolutions
This time of year always brings reflection and also resolutions for what next year is going to look like. It is a good time to commit to changing your trajectory. If it is going to happen ever, now is the best time. You very well may not get another chance. Equally important may be making peace with ourselves. If you have been telling yourself that this year you will get those six pack abs or that model body and you have been saying it for the last 7 years this raises a question. Is the reality of what it would take to get there actually worth the benefit to you? In some cases, we may need to accept that the path we have been taking is actually what we want net net. As long as it is fairly healthy and sustainable, some things don’t need fixing.
Happy holidays to all and be well on the path.
