Lessons Learned From 3 Years Outside The Maze

2021 kind of feels like the year of starting to get back out there.  At the same time, it feels like everyone is a bit angry and anxious.  I am back teaching a couple of courses at the University as part of an experiment / hobby.  It seems harder to inspire students and hold their attention than it was before the pandemic.  My lady who continues to work for reasons beyond money reports more conflict issues between her employees lately as well.  Is it just me or does it feel like everyone is agitated and opinionated but there’s very little kindness or respect? It seems like everyone wants to judge and dismiss rather than learn and build something together as a proud community. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s political divisions. Perhaps it’s a desire to blame our challenges on someone or some group. Or it could just be a temporary result of isolation.

Feelings aside, the facts paint a rosier picture. It has been a pretty good year. Vaccines came out and the pandemic seems to be easing. Unemployment is low. The stock market is high (up about 34% since last October). I’ve even been able to return to seeing friends and family.

Getting Back Out There

This morning I rode my bike through the town that I call home. It’s a crisp morning today and the blazing leaves of fall radiate impossibly brighter as the morning sun glints over the top of the mesa.  Now I sit down with a cup of ginger peach tea and a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin.

This is some kind of great October morning.  Just as in year one, and year two, this October marks my now 3rd year outside the maze.  What better time than now to whip out my laptop and think about some of the biggest lessons learned.  

#1 The Role of Adventure

It kind of feels like I am just starting to get back out from under the pandemic. Still over the last year I travelled to the Florida Keys twice, worked on a music project, went to Costa Rica For a Month, failed at getting six pack abs, visited a half dozen national parks, dove for sunken treasure, went remote on South Padre Island with my family, wrote a screenplay, and returned to my teaching fun-employment gig. When you put it all together, it sure sounds more packed than it felt.

Late this summer, I sat down with some friends Carl and Doug on The Mile High FI Podcast for an honest chat about the role of adventure in my life over the past few years. A good discussion often reveals who someone really is versus who they pretend to be in an article. Are they authentic? Are they selling you something? Give a listen to Mile High FI episode 20 for a deeper sense of who I am and the role that adventure plays in my life now 3 years outside the maze.

Happiness and Adventure

The don’t call it a bucket list that I posted on this site about 3 years ago is certainly in need of an update. I’ve done many of those things and some have changed over time. I never saw it as something that was going to be the meaning in my life but rather those adventures are a means to have an experience. This has proven true. I have also learned that these adventures are a way to build new relationships too. I hope to get more loved ones to join me in these adventures moving forward as well.

A life without adventure is stale. We all need exploration as well as routine in order to grow and learn. My world view has not changed in year 3. These key ingredients to happiness persist for me:

• financial security
• maintaining health
• good relationships
• positivity
• gratitude
• applying myself

Maybe the fact that these haven’t changed for me is a testament to their enduring effectiveness. I know that if someone got sick or my kids needed me, these adventures would have to be put on hold. However, as I discussed in an article about recently completing one of my own childhood dreams, these adventures also bring a smile to my face whenever I think back to them. Why not do them now when there is nothing preventing me? Often the barriers of time and money are not as big as the mental barriers and experiences do bring more joy than things. Doing these things has just been straight up joyful for me but the road is not always smooth.

#2 The Real Challenge With Living an Alternative Lifestyle

I have been living something of an alternative lifestyle now for the last 3 years. However, it started long before then. When we were spending less than 50% of our take home pay for more than a decade many would have called that deprivation rather than empowerment. When I hit financial independence and started working for myself for happiness rather than others for money, many would have said that I was just unemployed or burnt out. Even seeking happiness beyond money seems to go against the pervading assumption that happiness simply accumulates together with monetary wealth.

I am kind of used to being different because I have felt like a bird of a different color for my entire life. However, like maintaining a garden, living an alternative sort of lifestyle takes maintenance. Its natural state is to be ingrown by the pervading wilderness over time. I will offer that most of us think very little about how our identity is created by and then reenforced with societal norms and values. These influences are ever present.

Going It Alone

Now 3 years into this life outside of the maze, one of my long term learnings is to not underestimate the challenge of living differently and without the structure, the built in achievement, and the validation of a traditional job. It is not something that I have conquered or mastered because there is no permanence. Rather I maintain my garden and I own my narrative.

We all falter and feel weak sometimes. In those times it raises the question of why I feel this way? Am I bored and need exploration? Am I developing bad habits and need routine? Or, is my personal narrative and my lifestyle actually flawed? Without conviction there are plenty of impressions telling you that because you are different you may be faulty.

I would not recommend that anyone take a try it and see if it works out approach to living FI (or any alternative lifestyle for that matter). I believe that I remain reasonably effective at it but it has taken conviction in my path and narrative. It has taken discipline and habits to deal with tough times, and it took lots of planning and thought around what my lifestyle would look like before starting out (daily routine, my framework, my goals, etc).

#3 My Relationship With My Lady

I was talking with my partner recently about “van life” as a movement. She offered that van life is really the same thing as living in a van down by the river except with an instagram filter.

I saw her point. Everyone shares pics of cute young couples sitting in front of a perfectly manicured van tiny home while sipping sunrise tea with an amazing landscape behind. However, no one captures the reality of going poo in a bucket or stinky day old food and musty laundry smells funking up the van.

However, I offered to my lady that there is something more to the van life movement (or any alternative lifestyle for that matter). There is a couple who both believe in the lifestyle and they are sharing it. To them it is like a secret that they discovered. Sure it might not last forever, but it is exciting and to them it is the coolest thing that they could possibly be doing. Hence it is so. In this regard, a great lifestyle is in the eye of the beholder and those that it is shared with.

Sharing A Lifestyle

This shared lifestyle is something that my wife and I do not have on this journey currently. While she continues to work for reasons beyond money, I have taken the path chronicled on this site. It has actually gone very well so far because we both have a level of respect and understanding for what the other is doing. However, it also means that we don’t have that shared mojo like the couple in my van life example that are both fully into the same thing. This is something that I think about as I move into my 4th year. Is there a way to more broadly integrate each of our lifestyles and do more adventures together? How do I integrate living better with better living for more people? I believe that this has something to do with mission. While I started to think about this at the end of year #2, I still don’t have it all figured out. Maybe being a work in progress is life.

#4 My Relationship with Money

Much like focusing on mental health, I believe that focusing on financial literacy is hugely under-appreciated in my country. Most people don’t even talk about it. It baffles me that I live in a place with so much opportunity and wealth but even those with high paying jobs often actually have no savings. Based on this I’ve written extensively about maximizing earnings while minimizing spending and debt. Investing that surplus yields amazing wealth through the power of compound interest over time. However, my relationship with money has changed over the last 3 years.

When I left my traditional job 3 years ago, we had enough money to make future work totally optional for both my wife and myself based on widely accepted estimates of how much one needs to never have to work again. However, momentum is a powerful thing. I have still been running some rental properties that I already owned. They have been producing income (even when one burned down). Since I left work, the S&P500 is up 65% over 3 years and real estate values have similarly gone up. My partner has continued to work which has meant continued income. I also started teaching a couple of college courses for fun-employment. I get some pay and pension from that as well. All of this is to say that our savings has grown quite a bit. On top of all of that, my lady’s startup has taken off dramatically creating even more wealth on paper that might be realized one day.

More Money More Options

In short, we are substantially more well off than we were 3 years ago. Part of this is based on the fact that income producing assets have a proven history of doing just that. Some of it is due to what I call the paradox of success. Part of it is work and diligent decision making. And certainly part of it is good luck. After all, if 9/10 startups fail my lady’s company appears to be that other 1/10. In addition, the average annual return of the stock market over the last 90 years is closer to 7% where it has averaged closer to 18% per year over the last 3. I do not expect this to continue indefinitely and remain concerned about what all of this money printing, lingering inflation, and high valuations of assets will mean long term. However, it is hard to complain sitting here, now.

How has My Life Changed In Lavish Ways

So how has my life changed in glorious ways with this increased wealth? The answer is not much. I may splurge for a fancy dinner here and there or stay at a nice place on vacation but mostly my spending habits are about the same. I don’t feel more happy but I don’t feel less happy either. In short, the research, and the age old wisdom that money does not provide happiness but can prevent some unhappiness seems to be holding for me. I think about options and impact. Can I use this position for more good for myself and the world at large? This site started as a passion project from a guy who was excited about a new found freedom in life. The question is where it goes from here?

#5 Should I Keep Writing On This Site?

Ironically, the reason that I grew income, built financial skills, saved, and invested early, was so that some day I would not have to worry about money at all. After following the path that I’ve shared on this site, that day has come for me. It raises the question of why keep writing on this site about money at all? Why keep writing about something that I didn’t want to have to worry about? Life is short and there are so many other things to focus one’s energies on. Moreover, if I keep writing about things that I already know, does this become a crutch that impedes growth? These are questions that I am in the fortunate position of considering. Of course I hope to help others, and writing often helps refine my thinking as well. I usually enjoy it. After all, I also write about happiness, habits, and adventures which are always evolving for me.

However, you may have noticed that I have written less in year 3 than previous years. This is by design. I am trying to live a better life rather than focus on portraying one. The internet is easily the most transformative invention of the 21st century and is empowering for creators and for learners. However, I also believe that any thinking person should be wary of the way it is being monetized and the resulting incentives:

What is the only logical end when the real product of a free internet is actually the incremental behavioral change of consumers available for purchase?  What does it mean for your independence and your feeling of wellbeing and financial success?

The irony that you are reading this online is not lost on me. It is up to each of us to figure out who to trust on the financial independence journey. Learning is great but what are the motives and bias of the writer. There is also a time where you must kill the idea of the master and instead just take action yourself to get what you want. Reading endless feeds or blogposts alone is not a recipe for success. Nor is writing them. This is why I seek balance going into my 4th year. I will continue to write but only when I feel like it and only when I have something to share that I believe is worthwhile.

Looking Forward to Year 4 Outside the Maze

Armed with my vaccine and some general precautions, I am getting back out there after despite the pandemic. I plan to continue to pursue modest adventure in my life as it has brought me quite a bit of joy. At the same time, it is not the meaning and it is reassuring that many of the ingredients to my happiness have not changed much over year #3. I continue to pursue a balance going into year #4 and two big things on my mind are relationships and mission.

When I made the choice to start living differently 3 years ago, I gave a closer look at the old adage that money can’t buy happiness:

• How Much Money Do You Need To Be Rich?
• Claiming your unclaimed financial independence
• The Secret I Didn’t Know About Being Rich Until I Had Money

It changed my decision making and has been a rewarding realization so far. However, I did not predict that we would find ourselves in a substantially more fortunate position after 3 years. Thinking lots about finances and money got me here. However, paradoxically, it might be that thinking much less about money and more about motivation beyond it is what moves me forward from here.

I finished my tea this morning and it looks like another year as well. These seem like anxious times after a year and a half of pandemic and isolation. However, we developed and deployed a vaccine in record time and the global economy has bounced back. I rode my bike through a beautiful blazing sunrise this morning. Each day brings options and good reasons to be optimistic.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your learnings from the last year or advice that you think might help us all in the comments below?

I’m passionate about financial independence, happiness, successful habits, and adventure. Consider subscribing below to get an occasional email directly from me with a few thoughts and latest articles. It’s totally free and totally worth it, I promise.